{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"ERP 134: Sensitivity and Intimacy with Candy Crawford","description":"GUEST: CANDY CRAWFORD Candy Crawford, MSW, LCSW, is a therapist, educator, and advocate for highly sensitive people. She maintains a private practice in the Chicago area, where she specializes in working with the highly sensitive and facilitates workshops and retreats in collaboration with Elaine Aron, research psychologist and pioneer in the study of this trait. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON FACTS: Highly Sensitive Person is a layman\u2019s term. The scientific name is Sensory Processing Sensitivity. It is innate and occurs in 20% of the population. Therefore, 1 in 5 people have this trait. It is not a disorder or developmental issue. It occurs equally in men and women. 70% are introverted. 30% are extroverted. The tendency is found in the immune system, as well as the central nervous system. It is found in over 100 animal species. FOUR PILLARS OF HSP: D.O.E.S. D: Depth of processing. O: Over arousal or overwhelm. E: Emotional intensity. S: Sensory sensitivity. \u201cOur brain is processing information in a more concentrated form.\u201d By Candy Crawford HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM HIGHLY SENSITIVE? If you think you might be a Highly Sensitive Person, you may want to take a self assessment test to get an indication (by Elaine Aron). Here are a couple of examples from Elaine Aron\u2019s HSP Self-test: \u201cI am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.\u201d \u201cI seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.\u201d \u201cI have a rich, complex inner life.\u201d \u201cI notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.\u201d If you are a parent and want to determine if your child is a HSP, then you can take this self-test to identify if your child has the trait. BENEFITS AND CHALLENGES TO BEING A HSP People who are highly sensitive offer great gifts to the world. They typically offer unusual depth and complexity, tenderness, and conscientiousness. They tend to be great listeners, leaders, and loyal companions. They are often creative and compassionate. One of the main drawbacks of having this trait is 80% of the population doesn\u2019t understand the experience of a highly sensitive person. Therefore, a highly sensitive person often feels misunderstood. Another consideration is that the demands of our modern, busy, chaotic world can feel overwhelming. \u201cWe exhibit such a full range of humanity.\u201d by Candy Crawford Important notes: Self-care is a critical key to thriving as a highly sensitive person. HSP\u2019s need daily down time. The goal is to strive for an Optimal Level of Arousal, which is where the nervous system is moderately alert and aroused, in that too much or too little stress can be problematic. \u201cIt requires a certain level of courage and a sense of self to live in alignment with your trait.\u201d by Candy Crawford SENSITIVITY AND INTIMACY: HSP\u2019s tend to get very bored in relationship. They don\u2019t enjoy small talk and prefer deeper conversations. They enjoy discussing existential topics. They love to process about their relationships. They bring a level of intensity. They can become overwhelmed quickly when in conflict. They look for meaning and significance in relationship. Understanding and gaining education about the needs of the highly sensitive person can be helpful in enabling the couple to work together in collaboration rather than resorting to blame, comparisons, and criticism. Helpful ways to interact with a HSP: Take an interest in your partner. Be curious. What has moved you? What was something you wondered about today? Tips for a HSP: Know your limits. Remove yourself when you get overwhelmed. Take care of yourself. Communicate your needs. To learn an important suggestion in how to develop a stronger sense of self, please listen to the interview with Candy Crawford. \u201cIn relationship, you want two fully functioning independent people showing up.\u201d by Candy Crawford MENTIONED: The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron (website) HSP Self-Test (self-test) Candy Crawford LCSW (website) The Highly Sensitive Person (book) Sensitive (documentary) Sensitive and In Love (documentary HSP and Horses (event) HSP Gatherings (event) Is Your Child Highly Sensitive? (self-test) TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the \u201cAsk Dr. Jessica Higgins\u201d button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! \u2764 If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me. ","author_name":"Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide","author_url":"https:\/\/www.drjessicahiggins.com\/","html":"