{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"Episode 115: Why Couples Fight with Mira Kirshenbaum","description":"Many of the women I work with, at some point, have stated that all they wanted in their relationship was to feel understood. As this week\u2019s guest, Mira Kirshenbaum (author of the seminal book, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay) states in her book, Why Couples Fight, \u201cFeeling understood is the orgasm of intimacy.\u201d&amp;nbsp; Mira joins me to talk about the ways in which couples can end conflict, frustration, and resentment in their relationships. Mira is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families, and individuals. Show Highlights  Unmet needs and the pursuit of getting your needs met. (9:52) \u201cPower is the nightmare of love.\u201d We have at least 101 ways we make our partner feel disempowered. (17:04) The Eight Core Experiences of Love and why we must protect, maintain, and nourish all eight of them. \u201cLove without affection is like food without flavor.\u201d (18:20) The 1-2-3 method - a 3-step process for resolving conflict in any relationship - sets couples up so they are both satisfied. (27:41) How to get your needs met with someone who is addicted to conflict. (35:36) Some ways you can provide feedback in a healthy manner. (37:30) What a power move is and why people use them. (39:19)  Learn More About Mira: Mira Kirshenbaum is the author of eleven books\u2014including the influential\u202fToo Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay;\u202fParent-Teen Breakthrough;\u202fEverything Happens for a Reason; and\u202fThe Weekend Marriage\u2014 that have been translated into over twenty languages, and she is a two-time finalist for the Books for a Better Life award.\u202f&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Mira is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families and individuals. She has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions. She has appeared on\u202f20\/20,\u202fToday, and\u202fCBS Early Show, and has been featured as an expert in\u202fO,\u202fCosmopolitan,\u202fVogue,\u202fGlamour, and\u202fGood Housekeeping.&amp;nbsp; Resources &amp; Links: Mira's website Mira on Facebook Mira on Twitter  JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP ","author_name":"The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast","author_url":"https:\/\/www.kateanthony.com\/","html":"<iframe title=\"Libsyn Player\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/18825914\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/forward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/74bac2\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"600\" scrolling=\"no\"  allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen><\/iframe>","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/assets.libsyn.com\/secure\/content\/101493719"}