{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"MGW #16 - \u201cDrive Learning and Growth\u201d with Elaine Lin Hering","description":"GUEST: Elaine Lin Hering http:\/\/triadconsultinggroup.com\/ https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/elainelinhering\/ lin@diffcon.com   Across industries, people say that feedback conversations are their most difficult conversations -- both giving and receiving.   ONe the receiving end, it\u2019s triggering. On the giving end, you may cause a trigger in the receiver, and you don\u2019t know how it\u2019s being received.   Three kinds of feedback: Positive feedback: appreciation Coaching: guidance for improved effectiveness Evaluation: Tracking against expectations   In order to learn and thrive and do good work, we need all three kinds of feedback.Feedback is: solicited and unsolicited Verbal and non-verbal   When receiving feedback, people often feel judged.   When feedback is non-verbal, it\u2019s especially hard to interpret.   Principles of Improvisation: Everything is an offer. We are meaning making machines. Be specific. Yes, And. \u201cTell me more about that.\u201d   Skills for giving feedback is half the equation. Receiving feedback is an equally important set of skills.   We reject feedback for three reasons: Truth trigger: You\u2019re wrong. You have incomplete data. Relationship trigger: I don\u2019t like or trust you and your motivations. Identity trigger: That\u2019s not me. That\u2019s not who I want to be. I don\u2019t want to face the possibility that this describes me or my behavior.   Build awareness as a feedback giver and receiver of the above triggers.   As a giver of feedback, notice and unpack the labels you\u2019re using in giving feedback -- and Be Specific. Specificity can help get around the truth trigger by helping people to be clear that we\u2019re talking about the same thing.   As a receiver of feedback\u2026 take some time away and assess the feedback away from the stress of the confrontation.   Don\u2019t use vague or uncertain terms that require interpretation, and that will inevitably get different interpretations from different people. \u201cBe more man-like.\u201d   Describe behavior and describe impact instead.   When receiving feedback, observe your first reaction, and then you can choose your response.   Human beings think in labels. It\u2019s our job as givers (and even as receivers) to translate those labels into useful information.   How can you frame the feedback to be in the self-interest of the feedback receiver. How will it benefit that person to make the change you\u2019re suggesting?   As a receiver, if 90% of the feedback someone gives you is off and irrelevant, focus on the 10% that can serve you.   Feedback is information exchange and it\u2019s the fuel and driver for getting stuff done. So, ask yourself, how is feedback going on our team? How painful is it? How effective is it?We need a mindset shift: Feedback isn\u2019t the \u201cF\u201d word. It\u2019s an opportunity for improvement and accelerated growth.   Neglecting to give feedback insulates people from the reality of their behavior, of the reality of the impact of that behavior. If you aren\u2019t giving me feedback, you\u2019re cheating me out of the opportunity to learn and grow.   There is no learning without feedback.   If you\u2019re giving people feedback, and it\u2019s not working. 1) Look at how you\u2019re having the conversation. 2) Give meta-feedback. \u201cWe\u2019ve had this conversation before. There\u2019s a problem here with your making adjustments based on feedback.\u201d   It\u2019s critical to discuss the impact, the results, the consequences of behavior.   As feedback givers, we will never be free of bias. We can work to filter it out. And as feedback receivers, our job is to try to filter through that bias as well. Your host on Mighty Good Work is Aaron Schmookler. https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/schmookler\/   And, we\u2019re The Yes Works -- Helping to make work good for people, and make people good for work.   www.TheYesWorks.com   Resources mentioned in today\u2019s show: Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, by Roger Fisher and William Ury Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well\u2026, by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen Manager Tools HR West, A Professional Conference for HR folks in Northern California ","author_name":"Mighty Good Work","author_url":"http:\/\/theyesworks.com\/podcast","html":"