{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"ERP 550: When Desire Doesn\u2019t Come Naturally: How Couples Can Intentionally Create Pleasure and Connection \u2014 An Interview with Elana Auerbach","description":"Is your relationship\u2019s spark starting to flicker instead of burn? Many couples find that as life gets busier and routines take over, the effortless intimacy and passion that once defined their connection begins to fade. Questions arise\u2014Is something wrong with us? Is a declining libido just an inevitable part of long-term love? The pressure to fix or revive what used to feel natural can create even more distance, leaving partners feeling alone and disconnected. In this episode, listeners are guided through practical steps to reclaim pleasure and intimacy by reframing how they approach connection with themselves and their partners. With honest discussions about the challenges that come with sustaining desire over time, this conversation offers empowering practices for deepening pleasure, cultivating presence, and taking 100% responsibility for your own sensual fulfillment. Whether you\u2019re looking to reignite the spark or establish a sustainable, nourishing practice of intimacy, this episode provides insights and tools to make meaningful, lasting change in your relationship. Elana is a lover, mother, author, mentor, activator, and priestess. While Elana has a wealth of professional experience guiding people deeper into their bodies and their pleasure, The Sure Thing comes directly from her personal life. After years of frustration and failed gimmicks to try to respark the passion in her 20-year marriage, Elana created The Sure Thing. She wrote this book because she wants everyone to have access to this life-altering practice.   Episode Highlights 05:35 Creating an intimacy practice. 07:14 Understanding neuroception in communication. 10:58 Taking responsibility for personal pleasure. 15:46 Discussing and overcoming shame. 19:17 Focusing on intimacy and connection. 22:50 Commitment in personal practices. 26:24 Setting the intention for space. 30:00 Practicing self-pleasure and desires. 30:57 Balancing relationship commitments. 35:25 Exploring relational connections and pleasure. 39:37 Practicing mutual, respectful intimacy.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Set an Intention: Before each practice, determine what kind of sensual fulfillment or connection you desire, tailoring it to what feels inspiring to you in the moment or season. Schedule Sacred Time: Put the Sure Thing practice on your calendar to ensure it is prioritized and honored just like any other important commitment. Create a Ritual or Opening: Prepare your space and mind with a simple ritual, such as lighting a candle, taking a hot bath, playing music, or stating your intention to mark the transition into the practice. Begin with Self-Connection: Take a moment to check in with your body and ask yourself, \u201cWhat would be most pleasurable right now?\u201d\u2014even if the answer is \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d Take 100% Responsibility for Your Own Pleasure: Focus on what feels good for you, building the muscle of knowing and asking for what you want, whether solo or with a partner. Practice Presence and Pause: If you find yourself on autopilot or disconnected, pause to check in with yourself and your partner, recentering on pleasure and authenticity in the moment. Honor Boundaries and No\u2019s: Be honest about your desires and boundaries, giving yourself and your partner permission to say no or offer a counter-request without pressure or expectation. Experiment and Explore: Try out different forms of pleasure\u2014solo practices, touch, slow eating, movement, or sensual objects\u2014experimenting playfully to discover what brings you most alive.   Mentioned The Sure Thing (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Relational Health Assessment   Connect with Elana Auerbach Website: surethingexperiment.com Facebook: facebook.com\/ElanaAuerbachAuthor Instagram: instagram.com\/elana.auerbach LinkedIn: linkedin.com\/in\/elana-auerbach-387875b3   ","author_name":"Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide","author_url":"https:\/\/www.drjessicahiggins.com\/","html":"