{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"ep 149 \/ The Marriage Is Over: What "The Invite" Gets Right (and Wrong) with Zach Brittle","description":"SPOILER ALERT! This episode is all about The Invite, Olivia Wilde and Seth Rogen\u2019s new movie\u2014and if you haven\u2019t seen it yet, you may want to watch it before listening. Iona and Pam are joined by licensed therapist Zach Brittle, host of Marriage Therapy Radio and author of the forthcoming book, Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes, for a lively, therapist-on-therapist dissection of the film\u2019s troubled couples. And wow, is it uncomfortable. All three therapists found themselves squirming as they watched Joe and Angela\u2019s marriage deteriorate on screen, because there\u2019s something painfully familiar about watching two people who are deeply unhappy\u2014and who keep doing absolutely nothing to change it. Iona even turns the movie into a game: \u201cWhat are all the things you can name that these couples are doing wrong?\u201d From branching arguments into completely different fights, plowing through each other\u2019s boundaries, and dragging unresolved personal struggles into the marriage, the problems pile up fast. Although the movie features ethical non-monogamy, Zach argues that the real issue isn\u2019t non-monogamy at all. It\u2019s truth-telling. The turning point comes when Penelope Cruz\u2019s character, Pina, finally does something therapists don\u2019t always do: she tells the blunt truth about what she sees. When she says, \u201cThis marriage is over,\u201d she doesn\u2019t necessarily mean the relationship has to end. She means this version of the marriage is over. Whether Joe and Angela can build something new is up to them\u2014and it will require both people to actually do the work. So what do you do when a couple walks into therapy carrying years of resentment? Zach\u2019s answer is surprisingly simple: You don\u2019t have to stay married. But if you want to, you can make the decision to do the work. Because without the willingness\u2014or the will\u2014to change, the therapist is fighting your battle alone. They also talk about how people \u201coutsource\u201d their problems to alcohol, weed, work, affairs, and even therapy; why communication tools can\u2019t compensate for a lack of foundational trust; and why Zach literally said \u201cOkay\u201d out loud when he saw the movie\u2019s ending. Spoiler: he felt hope. Learn more about Zach and listen to Marriage Therapy Radio: https:\/\/marriagetherapyradio.com Pre-order Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes: https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Nothing-Changes-Relational-Recovery-Relationships\/dp\/1645475875  ","author_name":"Relationship Dish","author_url":"http:\/\/relationshipdish.com\/","html":"