{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"When a Marriage Ends: Divorce, Grief, Identity, and Faith","description":"Want to go deeper with this episode? Subscribers have access to the Restored Reflection Journal Library, with guided prompts designed to help you continue reflecting on each episode in your own time. Access the Reflection Journal Library Divorce doesn't always come with a clear villain or a simple explanation. Sometimes there was abuse or betrayal. Sometimes one person never wanted the marriage to end. But sometimes two people married young, grew and changed, became increasingly disconnected, or simply reached a point where the marriage ended\u2014and afterward, the questions aren't so easy to answer. In this episode of Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace, Dr. Malorie brings both her perspective as a clinical psychologist and her own experience with divorce to a conversation about what happens after a marriage ends. Because divorce doesn't only change the life you're living now. It can also change the future you once imagined. The 25th or 50th anniversary. Your child's wedding. Holidays and grandchildren. Growing older beside the person who has known all the different versions of you. And recognizing those losses doesn't necessarily mean you want the marriage back. In This Episode We explore the complicated psychological and spiritual landscape after divorce, including: Why divorce can involve grieving not only a spouse, but an imagined future What happens when there was no abuse, infidelity, or obvious villain Why Christians may struggle with questions like, \u201cWas what was wrong with my marriage wrong enough for it to end?\u201d How attachment and the brain's predictive processes can make the nervous system continue expecting a spouse's presence even after the marriage is legally over The identity shift that happens when \u201cwe\u201d becomes \u201cme\u201d Why relief, sadness, gratitude, regret, and grief can coexist The difference between regret and shame How to take responsibility for your part in a marriage without turning your mistakes into your identity Why you don't have to make your former spouse\u2014or the entire marriage\u2014bad in order to move forward The spiritual questions that can emerge when divorce intersects with covenant, faith, church expectations, and our understanding of God How grace allows us to look honestly at what happened without believing one chapter gets to define the rest of our story One of the central ideas in this conversation is: Regret can become information rather than identity. Grace doesn't require us to pretend every decision we've made was right. It gives us room to acknowledge what we wish we'd done differently, learn from it, and continue becoming. Three Practices for Moving Forward Dr. Malorie offers three psychology-informed practices for life after divorce: 1. Let yourself hold more than one truth. You can miss someone and not want them back. You can feel relief and sadness. You can grieve what was lost while still believing there is meaningful life ahead. 2. Separate responsibility from identity. Ask what genuinely belongs to you in the story of your marriage. Take responsibility for your part without turning \u201cI failed at some things\u201d into \u201cI am a failure.\u201d 3. Begin discovering who you are now. After years of thinking in terms of we, allow yourself to become curious about the person you are becoming\u2014your values, relationships, needs, and the life you want to build from here. The episode closes with a brief guided meditation, prayer, and an invitation to hold your story with both truth and grace. Your marriage may have ended. Your capacity to love, grow, belong, and build a meaningful life did not. Coming Next Next week, The Relationships That Shape Us continues with a conversation about forgiveness: what forgiveness actually means, what it doesn't mean, and whether we can forgive someone without pretending the hurt didn't happen or restoring the access they once had to our lives. Dr. Malorie also shares that Restored will return to divorce in a future deeper series exploring discernment before divorce, what happens when a marriage ends, and what it means to build a life afterward. Listen & Follow Follow or subscribe to Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace wherever you listen to podcasts. Following, sharing, and recommending an episode to someone who may need it helps more people discover the show. Listen to Restored on your preferred podcast platform Disclaimer Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for psychotherapy, mental health treatment, medical care, diagnosis, or professional advice. Listening does not establish a therapist\u2013client relationship. Please seek qualified professional support for your individual circumstances. ","author_name":"Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace","author_url":"https:\/\/www.greater-things.com","html":"