{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"How to Bring Up Sex Without Making Her Feel Like She Failed featuring Cailtin V","description":"Caitlin V is a sexologist, relationship coach, and host of Good Sex on HBO Max who has built a YouTube channel with nearly a million subscribers and over 170 million views, working primarily with men on erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and the isolation that comes with all three. She started as a sexual health researcher and policy analyst before deciding that change happens in conversations with real people, not in research papers. This is a live Dad Edge Alliance Q&A where Caitlin takes real questions from married men about a sexless stretch, shame carried into the marriage bed, sex used as leverage, and a marriage that has gone completely touchless. If you have been avoiding the conversation with your wife because the last time you brought it up it went badly, this one gives you the actual script.   Timeline Summary [4:12] \u2013 Caitlin's path from sexual health researcher and policy analyst to sexologist and coach [6:14] \u2013 First question, a husband who pushed too hard once and has been gun shy ever since [9:06] \u2013 Why a multi year backlog of unsaid things lands on one conversation and crushes it [11:01] \u2013 The cracked foundation, why repair has to come before any talk about frequency [13:35] \u2013 Reading her green lights and lobbing the flirtation back without adding pressure [16:33] \u2013 Naming the dynamic out loud as an act of leadership instead of a confession [23:58] \u2013 Why "the talk" is the wrong model for sex, with your kids and with your wife [27:39] \u2013 Nature abhors a vacuum, if she doesn't know what sex means to you she fills it in [31:25] \u2013 Anonymous question, premarital sex, religious shame, and less sex after the wedding [36:51] \u2013 The taboo factor, why sanctioned sex can lose the charge that breaking the rule provided [40:04] \u2013 Shame hates light, why you can't clean it out of her and what you can do instead [47:00] \u2013 Anonymous question, sex promised as a thank you that almost never arrives [53:09] \u2013 Why nobody can pre consent, and taking penetration off the required list [56:09] \u2013 What's underneath sex used as leverage, and how to rewrite that agreement together [59:11] \u2013 Anonymous question, a touchless marriage after years of backing off out of respect [1:03:25] \u2013 Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent and the Three Minute Game as the road back to touch   5 Key Takeaways Repair Before Frequency \u2014 Asking for more sex when years of unsaid things are still sitting there is like redecorating a living room on a cracked foundation. Go back and own what you didn't say first, then build. Name the Dynamic Out Loud \u2014 Leadership here is not initiating harder, it's surfacing the pattern so you're both looking at the same thing. Say "I haven't been lobbing these back because I'm afraid" instead of waiting for her to move first. She's Filling In Your Blanks \u2014 If your wife doesn't know the texture of what sex actually means to you, she fills that vacuum with social media, her friends, and her parents' marriage. "All you think about is sex" is usually a response to something that was never you. Warmth With an Invoice \u2014 If your past kisses and shoulder rubs came with a hidden price tag, she felt it, and that's why affection now reads as a bid. Own it plainly, then rebuild non-sexual touch on purpose. Nobody Can Pre Consent \u2014 Agreeing to sex tomorrow is like agreeing to salmon for dinner, the appetite can legitimately change. Keep more than intercourse on the table so a shift in the moment isn't a broken promise.   Links & Resources Episode page \u2014 https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/1519 Roommates to Soulmates, Larry's 8 week program, cohort three starts September 16 \u2014 https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/soulmates Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals, November 15 at State Farm Stadium \u2014 https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/nfl Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent and the Three Minute Game \u2014 https:\/\/www.schoolofconsent.org Caitlin V's courses, 20% off with code DADEDGE, including Yoni Massage, Come When You Want, Hard As You Want, and Legendary Lover   Enjoyed This Episode? If the "warmth with an invoice" idea landed the way it lands for most guys, you already know which conversation you've been putting off. Send this to a brother who's been quietly telling himself that not bringing it up counts as respecting her. Follow the show, leave a rating and review, and grab the full show notes at https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/1519 ","author_name":"The Dad Edge Podcast","author_url":"https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/podcast\/","html":"