{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"Small Pursuits That Rebuild a Disconnected Marriage featuring Joe Bailey","description":"This is a Wednesday Wins Q&A, with Larry joined by his longtime co-host Joe Bailey to tackle a question that lands for almost every married dad. Mike from Washington State wrote in about a marriage that isn't broken, no fighting, no affairs, but feels more like two coworkers running a small company called the family. He and his wife talk schedules, kids, and bills, physical intimacy has slowed, and as he puts it, he misses her even though she's only six feet away. Larry breaks down the four pillars of marriage from Lance and Brandi's work, individual, partnership, friends, and intimacy, and explains how couples get stuck in the partnership loop and skip straight to intimacy, which backfires. Joe follows with the idea of getting used to the light again after emotional disconnection, releasing resentment, and making small pursuits without attaching expectations. If your marriage feels more like a business partnership than a romance, this one is a practical roadmap back.   Timeline Summary [1:02] \u2013 Setting up Mike's question about a marriage that feels like a business partnership [2:12] \u2013 Mike's full letter: coworkers running a company called our family [3:46] \u2013 Larry on his own first decade feeling exactly the same way [4:05] \u2013 The four pillars of marriage from Lance and Brandi's book [4:46] \u2013 Pillar one, individual: self-care and emotional check-ins by percentage [5:42] \u2013 Pillar two, partnership: the bills, roles, and chores, aka the partnership loop [5:59] \u2013 Pillar three, friends: shared interests and real alignment [6:21] \u2013 Pillar four, intimacy, and why it collapses when the others are neglected [6:47] \u2013 How couples skip friendship and self and jump straight to intimacy [7:26] \u2013 Disrupting the partnership loop by cultivating friendship first [7:49] \u2013 The walk-and-date boundary: be Larry and Jessica, not Mom and Dad [8:13] \u2013 Bookending conversations with appreciation so your partner feels seen [8:30] \u2013 Adventuring together and asking bucket-list questions [9:34] \u2013 Why men eradicate their own self-care and isolate [12:12] \u2013 Joe on living this exact dynamic in his own marriage [12:32] \u2013 The dark-theater analogy: getting used to the light again [13:35] \u2013 Step one, release resentment when reconnection feels uncomfortable [14:02] \u2013 Be persistent and stop attaching sex to every act of connection [14:27] \u2013 Small pursuits: flowers and a coffee dropped off at Ivy's work, just because [15:46] \u2013 Small investments compound like a financial portfolio [16:40] \u2013 Stop keeping score and get in the habit of just investing [16:59] \u2013 The car story: we love the things we invest in [20:07] \u2013 Loving your wife publicly and without agenda [20:44] \u2013 Loving her in front of the kids and her mother [21:48] \u2013 The Hitch analogy and winning over the people around her [22:14] \u2013 The marriage hack: your mother in law as your greatest ally   5 Key Takeaways Marriage Has Four Pillars \u2014 Individual, partnership, friends, and intimacy. When you neglect self-care, friendship, and quality time and jump straight to intimacy, it falls flat. Intimacy is the natural result of the other three working. Escape the Partnership Loop \u2014 If every conversation is about schedules, bills, and who needs to be where, you're stuck in the partnership loop. Break out by rebuilding the friendship: dates, walks, adventures, and conversations where you're a couple, not just co-parents. Get Used to the Light Again \u2014 After emotional disconnection, reconnecting feels awkward and uncomfortable for both people. Expect that, release resentment about it, and don't attach worst-case scenarios to the discomfort. Make Small Pursuits Without Agenda \u2014 Drop off flowers just because, and don't attach any expectation of sex, because she'll sniff that out instantly. Stop keeping score and keep making small investments, and the connection compounds over time. We Love What We Invest In \u2014 Don't wait to feel the love before you invest. As the car story shows, investment creates love, not the other way around. Love your wife publicly and without agenda, and let her people, especially her mother, become your allies.   Links & Resources Episode page and all links: https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/1516 Legendary Couple with Larry and Jessica: https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/legendary-couple\/ Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/nfl   Enjoyed This Episode? If Mike's letter read like a page out of your own marriage, pick one small pursuit and do it this week with zero agenda. Drop off her favorite coffee, take a walk where you're just the two of you again, and stop waiting to feel connected before you invest. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations. ","author_name":"The Dad Edge Podcast","author_url":"https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/podcast\/","html":"