{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"You can't see God\u2019s providence through the windshield","description":"Opening Summary COL Chels Chae, USA (Ret.), served nearly 30 years in the Army, from West Point graduate, infantry officer and 75th Ranger Regiment veteran to commander of the Wolfhound Battalion at Schofield Barracks. He finished his career as Chief of Staff for Joint Task Force Homeland Defense and Deputy Chief of Staff for U.S. Army Pacific. For 13 of those years, he and his wife, Christine, walked through their son's mental health crisis, a season no military school prepared him for. In this episode, Chae talks with host Josh Jackson about the difference between competence and dependence, why his prayers once sounded like mission briefings, and how a solitary drive to a hospital in Pasadena, Calif., reshaped the way he talks to God. If you've been trained to project strength while privately carrying something you can't fix, this conversation offers a hard-won picture of God's providence\u2014usually visible only in the rearview mirror. Chae is the author of the devotional One Life Under God: Back to Faith\u2014A Daily Roadmarch. More information at his author site. Questions answered and themes covered in this interview include: How do you find your identity in Christ after retiring from the military? Start by separating who you are from what you've done. Rank, position, and assignment all change; identity in Christ doesn't. Twenty years ago, Chae says, he would have answered the identity question with "I'm an Army officer, I'm a Ranger, airborne." Today he answers first as a follower of Jesus Christ, then as Christine's husband and a father\u2014and everything else, he says, is simply something he has done. That reordering came shortly after retirement, when he realized someone else was sitting in his office, someone else was commanding his units, and life just kept moving. He describes God asking him a direct question in that season: "Who are you now?" Titles were never meant to define him. They were window dressing. Why do my prayers feel like a mission briefing? Because military training teaches you to arrive with the problem already solved\u2014and that habit follows you into prayer. Chae's prayers, by his own account, followed the briefing format: explain the problem, present the proposed solution, ask God to bless the plan. He wasn't intentionally excluding God; he simply assumed he already understood what needed to happen. The danger of leadership, he says, is believing that a careful enough plan and enough hard work can solve almost anything. Eventually a season arrived where no rank, no leadership training, no planning process, and no amount of grit produced an answer. He now calls that one of the greatest gifts God gave him, because it taught him the difference between competence and dependence\u2014and mature Christian leadership, he argues, requires both. How do I trust God when I can't fix my child's problem? You trust God's character instead of your own ability to solve it. Chae and Christine walked a 13-year journey with a son in a mental health crisis, initially diagnosed as a lifelong condition. From the outside, the family looked fine\u2014promotions, a strong marriage, active in church. Inside, he faced something none of his skills touched: gathering information, developing courses of action, deciding, leading. He kept asking God to change the circumstances and heal his son; looking back, he believes God was changing him instead, exposing where he trusted his own ability over God's authority and sovereignty. Faith, as he defines it, isn't confidence in what you hold in your hands\u2014it's confidence that God remains good whether you understand his plan or not. What held them together was finding a private place and praying out loud together. How do you pray when you're angry at God? Pray honestly, without a mask\u2014anger, tears, and unanswered questions included. Chae's most formative prayer wasn't composed or reverent. He was alone in a car, driving to the hospital where his son was, yelling and weeping, asking God why an innocent child at the very start of his life had to go through this. In the silence afterward, he sensed God\u2019s answer: \u201cNow you know how you should pray to me.\u201d He anchors this in Psalm 22, which he says gives him permission to be honest with God without pretense or protocol. If David (and later Jesus) could say "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Psalm 22:1), nothing needs hiding from a God who already sees the heart. The same season changed what he asks for\u2014less "fix this, Lord," more "what do you want to teach me today?" How do you know God's will for your future as a Christian? Stop trying to figure out God's plan for 10 years from now and start walking faithfully with him today. God is the only one who lives on what Chae calls "the far side of the future"\u2014he already knows tomorrow, and the lamp you're holding only lights the ground directly in front of you. Chae tells the story of a young manager who had decided he'd change jobs in a year; Chae asked whether every decision between now and then would be colored by that plan. A week later the man dropped it and committed to being faithful to his team\u2014"Don't worry, God's got you." Chae's own summary of Jesus is blunt: don't worry about tomorrow, seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33-34). Give today the effort God assigned you, and be able to say you were loyal to it. Why can't I see God's plan while I'm going through it? You usually don't see it in the moment\u2014you see it looking back. Chae puts it this way: nothing in the windshield helped him figure out what the future held for his sons or his family. But in the rearview mirror he sees all of it\u2014God\u2019s faithfulness, goodness, and purpose he couldn't have identified while he was living it. He describes being embarrassed, in hindsight, by how much energy he spent on the horrifying feeling of not knowing what came next, only to look back and say, "Oh. Okay. Now I see." His own immigration story reads the same way: born in London, back to Korea, then to New York and Chicago at 12 as his father chased a better education for the family. He didn't recognize God's providence at the time. He sees it now. Asked what he'll say first in heaven, his answer is one word\u2014aha\u2014because that's where he'll finally see all of it. Editor's note: In this episode, the passage about going into your room and closing the door to pray is cited as Matthew 5. The correct reference is Matthew 6:6, part of Jesus' teaching on prayer in the Sermon on the Mount. ","author_name":"OCF Crosspoint Podcast","author_url":"https:\/\/www.ocfusa.org\/crosspoint","html":"