{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"4148 Look For Something To Work With","description":"There's a moment in every marriage where you have to make a choice. You can stand there replaying every missed pass \u2014 every time your spouse came up short, every promise that got fumbled, every "we'll get to it" that never got to anything. Or you can do what the good ones do when the clock is running out. You can look for something to work with. Think about what you do now. Are you one who focuses on what doesn't work? Or are you willing to see what's possible? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https:\/\/createyournow.com #RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage I was watching the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game between the Panthers and Cardinals a couple of nights ago. It came down to the final 23 seconds. Two plays run, then two seconds left on the clock. The Panthers' quarterback, King, called the play \u2014 throw it to the right corner of the end zone, easy touchdown. But the defense read it. They shut the door on what should have worked. And here's what got me: King didn't stand there and give up on the play. He didn't throw his hands up and say "well, that's over." He took off running \u2014 six, seven steps \u2014 extended the ball across the goal line, and won the game. No hesitation. He looked for something to work with. That's marriage. That's every relationship worth having, honestly. The play you drew up in your head \u2014 the way you thought your spouse would show up, the way you pictured this season of your life going \u2014 sometimes the defense reads it. Sometimes it doesn't work the way you planned. And you have two choices: stand there mourning the broken play, or extend what you've got and cross the line anyway. Ecclesiastes puts it plainly: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). That's the whole point of two people. You're not there to keep score of the other person's incompletions. You're there to help each other up when the play breaks down. If you only train your eyes on what's missing, you will miss every single yard your spouse has already given you. 1 Corinthians 13 doesn't say love keeps a stat sheet. It says love "keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).  That's not weakness \u2014 that's strategy. A coach who only reviews the interceptions never builds a winning team. He looks at what worked, and he calls the next play from there. You are allowed to be honest about what isn't working in your marriage. But honesty without a search for possibility just leaves you standing in the end zone with the clock at zero, wondering what happened. So the question becomes: what does it actually look like, in the day-to-day of your marriage, to look for something to work with? The K.I.S.S. ~ Stop scanning and start extending! Stop scanning for what's missing, and start extending what's still there. That's the whole shift. Not pretending problems don't exist. Not ignoring what genuinely needs to change. Just refusing to let the incompletions be the only thing you see \u2014 and choosing, instead, to run the extra few steps before you give up on the play. Here's where you start. 1. Name one thing that worked. Before you list what your spouse got wrong today, find one thing \u2014 however small \u2014 that they got right, and say it out loud to them. Your spouse may not communicate the way you wish they did, but maybe they show love by fixing what's broken before you even ask. Maybe they're not romantic with words, but they're steady. They stay. Philippians 4:8 tells us to think about such things: "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely" \u2014 this is a discipline.  What you look for, you'll find more of. 2. Extend instead of retreat. The next time a conversation with your spouse breaks down the way you feared it would, don't shut the door. Take the extra step \u2014 ask one more question, offer one more ounce of patience \u2014 before you walk away from the play. This is what King did with the ball in his hands. He didn't have the play he wanted, so he found the one still available to him. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." One more gentle step, instead of one more retreat, is often the difference between a broken play and a win. 3. Pray for eyes that see possibility. Ask God, specifically today, to open your eyes to what's still working in your marriage instead of only what's still broken. This isn't wishful thinking \u2014 it's a scriptural pattern. Elisha prayed for his servant's eyes to be opened so he could see what was already there but invisible to him (2 Kings 6:17). Sometimes the possibility isn't missing. It's just unseen. Ask God to open your eyes to it. Know this: it takes one to start, and two to finish. You don't need your spouse to go first. You need to be the one willing to extend the ball when the play breaks down \u2014 to look for the opening nobody else sees yet. Be the one the Coach (your Heavenly Father) can use. Not because your marriage is easy, but because you decided it was worth fighting the last two seconds for. "Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"   \ud83d\udd14 Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https:\/\/createyournow.com TAKE A.I.M. ~ Action Ignites Motivation  - This is a complimentary (FREE) coaching call with me. You will discuss your specific situation while gaining tools and strategies to move you forward. (https:\/\/form.jotform.com\/62988215824163) \ud83d\ude4f  Create Your Now TV on Pray.com (https:\/\/pray.com) \ud83c\udfa5  Create Your Now on YouTube (https:\/\/youtube.com\/createyournow) \ud83c\udfa7 Create Your Now on Spotify, Pandora, and Audible. \ud83c\udfb6  Create Your Now on iHeart Radio (http:\/\/www.iheart.com\/show\/263-Create-Your-Now-Your-Best\/) \u270d\ufe0f  YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com  Instagram @CreateYourNow @KristianneWargo Twitter @KristianneWargo @CreateYourNow Facebook www.facebook.com\/TheKISSCoach www.facebook.com\/CreateYourNow   Cover Art by Jenny Hamson Photo by Canva.com   Music by Mandisa - Overcomer http:\/\/www.mandisaofficial.com Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright \u00a9 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -  Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission. ","author_name":"Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo","author_url":"http:\/\/createyournow.com","html":"