{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"313: The Hidden Ways We Survive, Stand Out, and Stay Sane at Work","description":"Modern work is getting weird. In this episode, Erin and Nicole talk about career envy, AI \u201cbot sitting,\u201d Gen Z\u2019s job search chaos, parents overstepping in the hiring process, airport drama, bathroom hideouts, and the deeply human ways people are trying to stand out, stay sane, and survive work right now. They also unpack one of Erin\u2019s favorite new questions for killing comparison: \u201cWould I actually want their life?\u201d Because chasing someone else\u2019s version of success only works if you\u2019re willing to take the whole life that comes with it. In this episode you\u2019ll hear: Why career envy gets a lot less powerful when you zoom out How AI slop is changing resumes, hiring, and the way we try to stand out What \u201cbot sitting\u201d says about the strange new reality of work Why parents need to step away from the hiring manager The hilarious and slightly unhinged ways people cope at work This one is part workplace commentary, part group therapy, part \u201cwhat the hell is happening out there?\u201d And honestly? We need all three.   <p><strong>Anya Roodnitsky Video:<\/strong> <a href="https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/DU6VPHhEgGn\/">https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/DU6VPHhEgGn\/<\/a><\/p> Book Erin to speak Ready to modernize your culture, liberate your leadership, and differentiate your business without sounding like every other company on LinkedIn? Bring Erin Hatzikostas in to show your team how authenticity can become an actual strategic advantage, not just another corporate buzzword. Book Erin to Speak If you\u2019d like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple \u201cplays\u201d to stop selling out and start standing out at https:\/\/bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com\/freebie If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration! Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram Take our simple, fun and insightful \u201cWhat\u2019s your workplace superhero name?\u201d quiz Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin\u2019s book, You Do You-ish Throw out half the playbook and start competing in a league of your own. Check out Erin\u2019s book, The 50% Rule. Work with Us Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here To connect with Erin and\/or Nicole, email: hello@bauthenticinc.com DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsuitable for younger audiences. Tweetable Comments \u201cYou cannot compare yourself to somebody else without first asking: would I actually want their life?\u201d \u201cWe do make shit up all the time. It\u2019s just usually bad shit about us and good shit about other people. You have the right to flip that.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re creating an entire life you don\u2019t have to escape from.\u201d \u201cIf you want to be heard, stand out, picked, chosen, or done business with, AI slop is going to kill you.\u201d Editor\u2019s note: This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity, readability, and flow while preserving the core conversation and strongest takeaways. In this episode, Erin Hatzikostas and Nicole Licata unpack the weird, wild, and deeply human ways people are surviving modern work. From career envy and AI \u201cbot sitting\u201d to Gen Z\u2019s job search chaos, parents overstepping in hiring, airport drama, bathroom hideouts, and the pressure to stand out in a world full of sameness, this conversation is part workplace commentary, part group therapy, and part \u201cwhat the hell is happening out there?\u201d Women, Work, and the Underground Network Erin: I have some updates. The first one is related to something you just said. I have to laugh at how freaking amazing working women are at multitasking. This morning, I drove 45 minutes to Southington for an 8:30 coffee meeting with a former client who is now a current client because they\u2019re bringing me back again. But before that, I had placed a BJ\u2019s Warehouse order at the Southington location because we have a graduation party coming up. So I had the coffee meeting, got gas under $4, picked up a ridiculous amount of party supplies, came home, sweated my ass off putting it all away, and thought, this is how women work. People underestimate not only how efficient we are, but also how connected we are. That reminded me of something else. A few weeks ago, our financial advisors decided to move to another bank for the second time in six years. The first time, we followed them. The second time, we paused. I happen to use the same financial advisor as my woman work crush, Jean LaTour, who is a former chief investment officer for CBS and Aetna. She is a big deal, authentic as hell, and I\u2019m proud to call her a friend. When we both got the news, we immediately started texting. I told her the deal Morgan Stanley offered us to incentivize us to stay, which was different from hers. We were sent to different people. We\u2019ve had lunch. We\u2019ve compared notes on how the transition has gone. So story number one is this: do not underestimate women and our ability to get all the things done, whether it\u2019s picking up BJ\u2019s after a business meeting or quietly sharing information behind the scenes to make sure we get the best deal possible. Nicole: That reminds me of one of our early episodes about the things women don\u2019t talk about. One of the big ones was finances. It\u2019s a mistake I still make sometimes. When things are changing, it can feel overwhelming. You want to trust what\u2019s happening. You get comfortable. But these are businesses. These are deal makers. You\u2019re their client, and you\u2019re paying them. The more information you have, the better. I applaud you for asking, \u201cWho else is in this with me? Let\u2019s have some conversations,\u201d instead of blindly going along with a deal that sounded good enough. Erin: Exactly. And I know we have a lot of male listeners, so I\u2019m not saying women are better. But get women into leadership positions because we are doing this at work too. We\u2019re multitasking, sharing information, and doing business differently. Sometimes that women\u2019s network is working under the covers more than people think. And I mean that in the least weird way possible. The Question That Kills Career Envy Erin: My second thought is something that has been helping me a lot lately. I\u2019ve been feeling really good about a mindset shift I\u2019ve made around jealousy, comparison, and chasing things I don\u2019t actually want. The speaking business can be ego-driven. I\u2019m not selling widgets. I\u2019m selling myself. So it\u2019s easy to get caught up in the idea that more bookings equal more validation. But I don\u2019t want to be a speaker who does 40, 60, or 80 gigs a year. I used to think that was mostly because I didn\u2019t want to be on the road that much or because it was too much to balance with family. But it\u2019s also because I can\u2019t give fully to clients if I\u2019m doing that much. I have eight gigs between June and September, and I\u2019m at capacity in terms of my ability to customize, understand each client, and not come in with a cookie-cutter talk. So here\u2019s the question that has helped me when I see another speaker\u2019s amazing new reel or big event announcement: Would I want their life? And I don\u2019t mean, \u201cThat probably sucks because they\u2019re on the road so much.\u201d I mean literally: would I want their whole life? Sometimes I know these people and their backgrounds, and sometimes I don\u2019t. But I ask myself, would I want the entire life that comes with that thing I\u2019m jealous of? The answer is almost always no. I want my life. I want time with my husband. I want time with my kids. I want breathing room on a Friday. I don\u2019t want to take one thing and give up everything else. You cannot compare yourself to somebody else without first asking, \u201cWould I actually want their life?\u201d Maybe once in a while the answer will be yes. But even with celebrities, ask yourself: would I want their life? You don\u2019t get to have the thing you\u2019re jealous of and keep everything you already have. You can\u2019t say, \u201cI want that event with 3,000 people on a stage in Hawaii,\u201d without also taking the number of gigs, sacrifices, relationships, lifestyle, location, and everything else that comes with it. You cannot pick and choose. That has put me in this place of gratitude for the holistic picture of my life. When speaker friends ask, \u201cHow\u2019s it going?\u201d there is often this undertone of, \u201cHow many bookings are you doing?\u201d And I\u2019ve started answering differently. I say, \u201cI really fucking love my life.\u201d Yes, this is the busiest summer I\u2019ve had speaking. But when you ask how I\u2019m doing, I\u2019m thinking about my daughter having the time of her life in her senior year, my husband and I getting along great, the weather being beautiful, visiting family, and building a life I actually want. Nicole: What you\u2019re saying is interesting because you\u2019re not saying don\u2019t change or don\u2019t evolve. You\u2019re saying look at the landscape, the tools, the opportunities, and the framework you actually have. Don\u2019t look at someone else\u2019s life with no context about who they are, how they got there, or what sacrifices they made, and assume you can just import one piece of it. Erin: Yes. And I\u2019m also giving people permission to make shit up. Let\u2019s say someone\u2019s title comes across your feed and you think, \u201cI always thought I wanted that role.\u201d You don\u2019t know that person. So you have the right to create a different narrative. We make shit up all the time. It\u2019s just usually bad shit about us and good shit about other people. You have the right to flip that. If you\u2019re going to tell stories in your head, tell great stories about yourself too. Nicole: As long as the narrative gives you balance and helps you dig into where you are instead of making you feel terrible about yourself, it can create growth. Erin: Exactly. Because when you stop spending so much energy being depressed about where you are, you can actually grow. And this is where the 50% Rule helps too. Once you do things half-normal, half-you, it becomes almost impossible to compare because you\u2019re not trying to do it the same way anyway. I\u2019ve told the universe something different. I\u2019ve said I want around 25 gigs a year. I want balance. I want this life. And the universe has started to deliver exactly what is perfect for me. Nicole: It goes back to what you said. You\u2019re creating an entire life you don\u2019t have to escape from. Erin: Yes. This is not the time in my 50s to create something that looks good on paper but feels terrible in reality. I\u2019m creating a lifestyle. Authenticity as a Business Differentiator Erin: My third thought is something I\u2019m still processing. I had a repeat client who brought me in specifically for their sales organization, which I love because authenticity can sometimes sound like an HR thing. But where I get really excited is when it becomes about differentiation, growing your business, and doing things differently in a tangible way. This client brought me in for a leadership keynote, and then we worked together for six months doing real-time group coaching with their sales team. We took actual scenarios and worked on making their responses, proposals, and communication more authentic. Recently, I learned they had their best sales year ever by far. And they are going through DOJ approval for an acquisition at a 20X EBITDA, which is hard to come by these days. They\u2019re not an AI company. The investment community is very focused on AI right now, so this was a big deal. I am not taking full credit. There are always many factors. But I also don\u2019t believe in coincidences. They invested in differentiating and doubling down on authenticity as their advantage. Then they had a huge sales year, which contributed to the valuation and the sale. That was pretty freaking cool. Nicole: They found their mantra, put it into action, and got results. Weird how that works. Airport Drama Nicole: I want to share the latest reason I got stopped at the airport, because there is always something. I was coming back into the United States, and my luggage got flagged. I\u2019ve been traveling only with carry-on luggage because I\u2019m constantly booking multiple flights with different airlines to maximize scheduling and pricing. The travel market is crazy, and I am not a bazillionaire. So first, my known traveler ID and redress number disappeared off my ticket. I get sent through multiple lines at JetBlue. They finally put the information back in, and I go to the TSA PreCheck line. Then they tell me I have to go to the special TSA PreCheck line. Erin: Who knew those even existed? Nicole: Exactly. I had already given myself a lot of time, and I had already passed USDA inspection, so no fruit and vegetable jail this time. Then they immediately flag my bags. They pull them aside. There are officers, dogs, everything. An agent comes up to me and says, \u201cMa\u2019am, we\u2019ve seen some unknown powders in here. Do you have coffee?\u201d I said, \u201cI do have coffee, but it\u2019s in this bag,\u201d meaning the backpack he had already handed back to me. Then he starts going through my suitcase and pulls out a packing cube. He says, \u201cMa\u2019am, the issue is that your luggage is too well packed. It is too dense.\u201d I was like, \u201cMy bathing suit and underwear?\u201d Then he finds some lady products because I\u2019m a woman in menopause. He asks, \u201cWhat is this syringe?\u201d I told him to read the label. He opens it, pushes it out, and realizes it\u2019s Lady Lube. He starts calling over officers and saying it\u2019s illegal. Then a woman walks up out of nowhere, slams the suitcase shut, and says, \u201cYou\u2019re free to go.\u201d Erin: Women to the rescue. Nicole: Pink underwear, coffee, unknown powders, densely packed luggage, Lady Lube. I was done. Bot Sitting and the Strange New Reality of Work Erin: Let\u2019s dive into some of the craziest recent workplace stories. Will there be lessons that inspire you and make you a better person? Probably not. Possibly. But mostly, we\u2019re here to laugh. The first one I came across was the concept of bot sitting. Have you heard this term? Nicole: I have, but explain it. Erin: It\u2019s basically babysitting AI. I\u2019ve seen it with my 15-year-old, Mick, who has become really talented with AI, especially coding and building things. But he\u2019ll set something up, and then I\u2019ll walk into his room and see his laptop out while he\u2019s on his phone scrolling videos because he\u2019s bot sitting. He\u2019s waiting for AI to crank something out or process. This article was talking about how AI is supposed to make everyone more efficient, but in companies, people are using AI and then waiting two hours for it to process. So they\u2019re basically being paid to scroll their phones and bot sit. Nicole: I know someone from the art world who just lost his job. He\u2019s a young medical researcher, and the only jobs he\u2019s being offered are essentially bot sitting jobs. These are entry-level roles where he helps internal AI systems learn inside research companies. His job is to feed data into the bot, help it spit things out more efficiently, check the results, and fix errors. That\u2019s what he\u2019s being offered as a PhD researcher. Erin: Wow. Bot sitting. Gen Z, Job Search Chaos, and the Resume That Actually Worked Erin: That\u2019s a good segue into one of my favorite articles: Anya Roodnitsky and her resume. Anya is a recent Dartmouth grad with a mathematical physics degree. Not a slouch. But the job market is tough, especially for new grads. She sent out hundreds of resumes, and she didn\u2019t just phone it in. She customized them. She did all the things HR people tell you to do. And she got nothing. So out of frustration and fun, she made a simple, authentic PowerPoint-style resume and posted it on social media. She did exactly what I talk about all the time: she exposed who she was and her flaws right away. She didn\u2019t pretend. She said, basically, \u201cI\u2019ve been doing hundreds of these, and it\u2019s rough out there, so here\u2019s what I\u2019m going to do.\u201d She talked about working with nuclear reactors and joked that she was basically Oppenheimer. She included competence, personality, and humor. She even promised to bring in baked goods. The video got hundreds of thousands of views. She got 52 introductions or coffee chats, 20 referrals, 10 interviews, and landed a job. Yes. Different is better than better. If you\u2019re going through the same thing every day, whether it\u2019s resumes, sales presentations, town halls, or HR emails nobody reads, it is your fault if people aren\u2019t paying attention. You\u2019re not pattern interrupting. You\u2019re not being authentic. You\u2019re not giving people a reason to stop and notice. In this day and age, especially if you\u2019re trying to get hired, AI slop is going to kill you if you want to be heard, stand out, picked, chosen, or done business with. Nicole: It\u2019s also disheartening that we can\u2019t trust these giant systems we\u2019ve created. It feels like you have to be a disruptor just to access society and get a job. I love her, but it\u2019s also fully disheartening for someone like me who would never do that. Erin: Right. Her example was outlandish, but the broader point is that Gen Z is taking to content and social media because that\u2019s what they know. They\u2019re frustrated and saying, \u201cFuck it.\u201d And honestly, this is what I\u2019m saying. This is the future. Parents, Please Step Away From the Hiring Manager Nicole: One thing I\u2019m finding as a hiring manager is that students are getting more tools, encouragement, and guidance around networking and mentoring than we had. That part is good. But with that, I\u2019m having a total Step Brothers moment because I\u2019m getting emails from parents. Erin: Oh no. When we say work networks, we are not talking about your parents. Nicole: Do not call me and say, \u201cWhat does my kid need to do?\u201d Erin: Are you kidding me? Nicole: I\u2019m not. Parents are engaged in their kids\u2019 lives and professional development in a way our families weren\u2019t because the world has changed. But I cannot take that seriously. It\u2019s unfair to the student too. Maybe they\u2019re lazy, or maybe they have an overbearing parent. Either way, it makes them look bad. Erin: It\u2019s a red flag. A disqualifying red flag. And if a parent did contact me, I\u2019d be tempted to ask, \u201cIs this how you\u2019ve operated throughout their schooling? Have you been stepping in like this?\u201d Because if the answer is yes, there\u2019s your reason. You are the problem. Not just because you picked up the phone now, but because you\u2019ve probably spent years enabling them instead of slowly stepping back and letting them figure things out. Nicole: We all understand networks. We all understand nepotism exists. But cold-calling nepotism is a whole different world. If you\u2019re engaging with a hiring manager, make sure it\u2019s for a job you want. And ask yourself: if your child were dating someone, would you call that person and ask 27 questions? Professional and personal relationships are not in totally different universes. They\u2019re on the same spectrum. So from the hiring desk of Nicole: if you\u2019re a parent, don\u2019t call me. Workplace Weirdness, Government Voicemails, and HR Stories Nicole: One of my favorite stories you sent was about the Washington State DMV. The story was that when people called the DMV and chose Spanish language support, instead of getting Spanish, they got heavily accented English. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s real, but because I work for a government agency, I can absolutely see how this could happen. Government tech systems are constantly evolving, and agencies don\u2019t always have access to all of their own systems. Voicemails are not always recorded by voice actors or vendors. Sometimes it\u2019s just someone in IT with a nice voice. Erin: And maybe they were trying to save money and decided Rosario down the hall would do it. Nicole: Exactly. Someone says, \u201cShe speaks clearly.\u201d And suddenly that\u2019s the voicemail. Erin: I think it\u2019s real. I tried to look it up, and it didn\u2019t immediately flag as fake. I did have another article on the list about a woman supposedly working three full-time remote jobs, but that one appears to be fake. Listeners, you\u2019ll have to tell us: do you know if the DMV story is real? The Bathroom Popsicle Bandit and Where People Hide at Work Nicole: The random HR stories also had me dying. My favorite was the Bathroom Popsicle Bandit. Apparently, an employee would sit in the bathroom all day eating freeze pops and reading a book on her phone. She was in there so long that someone found her and thought she was dead. There were freeze pop wrappers all over the floor. Erin: You can picture it. Nicole: I can picture it because our bathroom situation at work is not great. We have one stall for a lot of people. The light goes out. The toilet doesn\u2019t flush well. And if you sit there too long, it keeps flushing, so people know you\u2019re in there. But sometimes when people are constantly walking into my office, I hide in there. Or I hide in the old lactation room\/mail room\/storage room. I push the chairs aside just enough to slip in and sit there for 20 minutes with my phone flashlight. There\u2019s no air. No ventilation. But sometimes you need a moment. Erin: It\u2019s mental health. It\u2019s better than putting in a mental health claim. Nicole: I want to know where people hide at work. What are your work hide-and-seek spots? Mine is the mail room\/lactation room\/storage room, sometimes the bathroom, near the emergency exit no one uses. Erin: That reminds me of when my kids were young and wanted to play hide-and-seek. I would grab a glass of wine and go to the hardest place for them to find me. They would eventually say, \u201cMom, we give up,\u201d and I would just sit there drinking wine. Best game ever. Substance Coping and Surviving Modern Work Nicole: A lot of those HR stories involved substance use too. People coming into the office drunk or medicated. And I\u2019ll be honest: people seem much more medicated or open about their medication at work now than I\u2019m used to. I\u2019m not always sure what counts as substance abuse versus substance coping these days. Sometimes I like people better on their coping substances than off them. I\u2019m not saying I condone it, but sometimes I\u2019m like, please come to this meeting chilled out. Erin: Can you blame them with the current workplace? Nicole: I cannot. Erin: That\u2019s why we share these stories. That\u2019s why we share this podcast. It\u2019s all part of your medication. Nicole: We are all living this dream together and showing up every damn day because we\u2019ve chosen it. And sometimes you just have to call your squad and ask, \u201cAm I getting the best deal where I am?\u201d Have that conversation. Erin: Work the underground tunnel. Nicole: Exactly. Final Thought Erin: Modern work is weird. AI is changing the way people apply for jobs, companies are asking people to bot sit, parents are emailing hiring managers, employees are hiding in bathrooms, and everyone is trying to stand out without losing their minds. But underneath all of it is something deeply human. We\u2019re trying to build lives we don\u2019t have to escape from. We\u2019re trying to stop comparing ourselves to people whose lives we don\u2019t actually want. We\u2019re trying to be seen, chosen, trusted, and remembered in a world full of AI slop and workplace noise. And honestly? Sometimes the best thing we can do is laugh, call our people, and ask better questions about what we actually want. ","author_name":"b Cause Work Doesn't Have to Suck","author_url":"http:\/\/bauthenticinc.libsyn.com\/website","html":"