{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"ERP 532: Acceptance and Change in Love: How Couples Navigate Conflict and Connection - An Interview with Dr. Shireen Rizvi","description":"Navigating the ups and downs of relationships can feel like learning a new language without a guidebook. When emotions run high, or misunderstandings arise, it\u2019s easy to get stuck in frustration or repeat patterns that don\u2019t serve us\u2014or our partners\u2014well. How do you ask for what you need, stay true to yourself, and keep the connection strong, all at the same time? In this episode, the discussion explores practical tools rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that help you strike a balance between self-respect, relationship wellbeing, and getting your needs met. Listeners will discover how to pause and choose more effective responses in moments of conflict, learn key strategies for emotional regulation, and find new ways to approach differences with acceptance and actionable change. Whether you\u2019re struggling to communicate a small annoyance or facing recurring arguments, this conversation offers concrete skills to foster growth and resilience in any relationship. Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, board-certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Over the past 25 years, Shireen has conducted research and training in DBT. Her new book, Real Skills for Real Life, co-authored with Dr. Jesse Finkelstein, is available now.   Episode Highlights 03:35 Introduction to DBT therapy. 07:55 Learning relationship skills gradually. 10:49 Marcia Linehan's therapy development. 16:07 Embracing acceptance and change. 21:30 Balancing objectives and relationships. 25:33 Balancing priorities in relationships. 29:02 Understanding Emotion Regulation in DBT. 31:29 Understanding emotional dysregulation. 35:08 Managing conflict in relationships. 40:28 Using DBT skills for anxiety. 43:36 Book and resources overview.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Identify Your Objective. Clarify what specific outcome you are hoping to achieve before entering a conversation or making a request. Consider Relationship Impact: Reflect on how you want the other person to feel about you and your relationship after the interaction. Prioritize Self-Respect: Decide how you want to feel about yourself based on how you handle a situation, ensuring you act in line with your values. Pause Before Reacting: When emotions run high, intentionally pause and consider your options before responding or reaching out to your partner. Practice Acceptance and Change: Acknowledge areas where acceptance is needed and where change is possible, aiming for a balanced approach in ongoing issues. Prepare Requests Clearly (DEAR MAN Skill): Formulate clear, specific, and assertive requests using tools like the DEAR MAN acronym to increase the likelihood of your needs being met. Monitor Emotional State: Regularly check in with yourself to assess your emotional regulation, especially before and during difficult interactions. Reflect on Interpersonal Patterns: Periodically review your tendencies in conflict (e.g., always prioritizing the relationship or objective) and adjust to create more balance and effectiveness in your interactions.   Mentioned Real Skills for Real Life (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Real Skills for Real Life (*Guilford Press link) (book) The High-Conflict Couple (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) About Dr. Jesse Finkelstein (TheraHive) Marsha M. Linehan  Gottman Institute Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (Free Guide)   Connect with Dr. Shireen Rizvi Website: shireenrizvi.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com\/in\/shireen-rizvi-1a5544193 Co-author of the book Real Skills for Real Life: https:\/\/www.therahive.com\/team\/jesse-finkelstein    ","author_name":"Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide","author_url":"https:\/\/www.drjessicahiggins.com\/","html":"