{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"Unconditional Love Does Not Mean Unconditional Relationships featuring Lee Benson","description":"In this episode, I sit down with Lee Benson \u2014 entrepreneur, founder of eight companies, former CEO of Abel Aerospace (which he grew from 2 to 500 employees serving customers in 60 countries before a nine-figure exit in 2016), and now CEO of Dinner Table, a free global community of over 40,000 parents from 67 countries built around one idea: teaching families how to intentionally create value together. Lee's story starts where most don't \u2014 kicked out of his house at 18 with his clothes in paper grocery bags, a car he bought himself, a job cooking at Coco's, and a credit card debt his parents had secretly run up in his name. He went from negative zero to building one of the most successful aerospace companies in the country. And he has spent the last decade trying to figure out how to give every family \u2014 especially the ones starting from nothing \u2014 the framework that changes everything. We get into the monthly family meeting, what it actually covers, and why giving every member of the family \u2014 including the six-year-old \u2014 a job and a line item in the budget changes behavior almost instantly. We talk about finding your kids' value creation superpowers, what it means to show up with someone's potential instead of their performance, and why Lee's business partner Jack Welch was one of only two people in his entire life who ever made him feel that way. And Lee drops one of the most clarifying lines this show has ever heard: I believe in unconditional love. I do not believe in unconditional relationships.   Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:03] Kicked out at 18 \u2014 paper bags on the patio, locks changed, one night in a Chevy Blazer [2:19] The credit cards his parents ran up in his name \u2014 and why he paid them off instead of turning them in [3:46] Generational dysfunction, siblings lost in it, and why unconditional love does not mean unconditional relationships [5:17] Why being kicked out may have been the best thing that ever happened to him [8:11] Building a chosen family \u2014 40-plus years later, one of his "kids" is staying at his house with his own family [10:06] The rules of engagement \u2014 how Lee maintains relationships with difficult family members without enabling them [15:52] Introducing Lee \u2014 Abel Aerospace, nine-figure exit, and now CEO of Dinner Table [17:18] The monthly family meeting \u2014 family goals, everybody's job, budget review, and what it means to be a leader in the family [20:17] Giving the six-year-old a line item in the budget \u2014 and what happened when the kids saw how much Dutch Brothers was costing [21:34] If there's money left over, the kids decide where it goes \u2014 including Yellowstone with no technology for a week [22:14] The one-on-one meeting with each kid \u2014 how would you like to create value in the world? [25:31] Why Lee calls it a huddle instead of a meeting \u2014 and how language changes everything [27:50] The nine-year-old who looked up and said "I have a job for the family" \u2014 with pride [28:52] The two people in Lee's entire life who showed up with his potential \u2014 and why that is so rare [30:20] Larry's version \u2014 the mentor who always referenced Larry 1.0 vs. Larry 2.0 behavior [33:01] How to ask a ten-year-old about value creation without losing them \u2014 and what to do with "I like video games" [39:16] Three types of struggle \u2014 normal and healthy, struggle that needs support, and struggle to avoid entirely [48:32] The mom whose three boys cook dinner six nights a week \u2014 and why that one job changed everything for her [51:26] The difference between adding value and creating value \u2014 and why that distinction matters for your kids [56:06] What we say vs. what we model \u2014 and why cutting yourself down in front of your kids cancels every "you can be anything" you've ever said   Five Key Takeaways I believe in unconditional love. I do not believe in unconditional relationships. Love without limits does not mean relationships without rules of engagement \u2014 and confusing the two enables the very behavior you're trying to change. The monthly family meeting changes behavior almost instantly. When kids have a job for the family, a line item in the budget, and a seat at the table \u2014 they stop needing to be told ten times. They're already in. Show up with your kid's potential, not their current performance. The two people Lee remembers most weren't impressed by his resume. They saw what he could become. That's the standard. What you say and what you model are two completely different messages. If you tell your kids they can be anything and then cut yourself down in front of them, they are listening to your actions \u2014 not your words. Value creation is a family sport. The earlier you start the conversation \u2014 what are your interests, how do you want to show up in the world, what does it mean to be a leader in this family \u2014 the more momentum your kids build on their own before they leave home.   Links & Resources Dad Edge Business Boardroom \u2014 June 1st cohort, applications open May 21\u201331: http:\/\/thedadedge.com\/boardroom Value Creation Family by Lee Benson: https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Value-Creation-Family-Playbook-Setting\/dp\/1636805981 Dinner Table community (free, 40,000+ parents, 67 countries): https:\/\/dinnertable.com Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1480): https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/1480   Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: you can start from anywhere and go everywhere \u2014 but only if your belief system allows it. Lee Benson started from negative zero. No father. A toxic home. Credit card debt in his name before he ever had a job. And he built something extraordinary \u2014 not because he had a blueprint, but because he believed a different future was possible and did the work to build it. Now he's building that blueprint for everyone else. One family meeting at a time. Go out and live legendary. ","author_name":"The Dad Edge Podcast","author_url":"https:\/\/thedadedge.com\/podcast\/","html":"