{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"#86: The Parts of You That Cannot Love","description":"Every high achiever I've worked with says he wants deeper connection. Almost none of them understand what it actually costs. In this episode, I show you the one move most achievers unconsciously resist making. The move that changes how every close relationship in their life works \u2014 their oldest friends, the family they came from, the family they have not yet built, and the one they have with themselves. What I'm about to describe is not a technique, but a reorientation. A technique is something you add to the list of things you already do. A reorientation asks you to stop doing something you have built your whole life around. So let me say this up front. Nothing in this episode is hard to understand. Everything in it is hard to do. We cover the hidden ledger most achievers carry into every relationship without knowing it. The Confucian discipline of compassion, which is very different from softness. The young part of you that was sent away around seven years old. And what courage actually looks like in an intimate conversation, which has almost nothing to do with what you think. If the people you want closest to you feel like they\u2019re actually far away, this is the episode for you. Show Highlights Include: The sneaky way your professional success starves your most important relationships (1:08)  The #1 deathbed regret achievers have (and how to prevent this lonely reality from ruining your final moments) (3:06)  3 myths about connection that, if left unaddressed, will cause you to be isolated and alone for the vast majority of your life (3:45)  The \u201clove as a salary\u201d mistake you\u2019re making in your personal life (and why it\u2019s difficult, if not impossible, to realize you\u2019re doing this) (8:47)  Why sitting in pain without rushing to a solution is the single hardest (and most important) thing you\u2019ll ever learn to do (10:43)  How your rushing to a solution your partner has is a classic case of avoidance (even though it doesn\u2019t feel like it) (12:16)  Why it feels like every relationship you build has a false floor in its foundation (15:44)  The insidious \u201cInner Burden\u201d trap that forces you to pass on your biggest shortcomings to those around you and make them pay the cost you refused to pay (17:44)  3 characteristics of intimate courage and why they look like anything but courageous from the outside looking in (18:29)  A real life example of how romantic partners get the ick when they feel like you\u2019re optimizing your dating life (and how one of my private clients broke through this charade) (20:53)  For more about David Tian, go here: https:\/\/www.davidtianphd.com\/about\/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you\u2019ve crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you\u2019ve built the life you thought you wanted, yet there\u2019s still something important missing. I\u2019ve put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what\u2019s really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you\u2019ll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It\u2019s fast. It\u2019s practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here \u2192 https:\/\/dtphd.com\/quiz ","author_name":"Beyond Success","author_url":"https:\/\/www.davidtianphd.com\/","html":"