{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"Held Together: Healing Childhood Trauma Episode 3\u2013 Trauma, Shame, and the False Self","description":"Continue your Restored journey by subscribing: https:\/\/greater-things.com\/restored-podcast Why do so many of us carry a quiet sense that something is wrong with us\u2026 even when we can\u2019t explain why? In this episode of Held Together: Healing Childhood Trauma, we explore the connection between trauma, shame, and identity\u2014and how early experiences shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves. Building on the previous episodes, Dr. Malorie helps you understand how the roles you learned to survive are often rooted in something deeper: shame-based core beliefs formed in moments your nervous system was overwhelmed and trying to make sense of your world. In This Episode, You\u2019ll Learn: \u2022 The difference between shame and guilt\u2014and why it matters \u2022 How shame forms in childhood when needs are not consistently met \u2022 What defectiveness beliefs are and how they develop \u2022 How trauma shapes identity\u2014not just behavior \u2022 The concept of the false self and why it forms \u2022 How survival roles (achiever, peacemaker, independent, etc.) are connected to shame \u2022 How Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us understand protective parts with compassion \u2022 Why shame continues to impact adult relationships, even when we don\u2019t recognize it If You\u2019ve Ever Thought\u2026 \u201cI feel like I have to hold everything together.\u201d \u201cIf people really knew me, they wouldn\u2019t stay.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m either too much\u2026 or not enough.\u201d This episode will help you understand where those beliefs may have come from\u2014and why they feel so real. What You\u2019ll Begin to Understand Shame doesn\u2019t begin as a thought. It begins as a felt experience in the nervous system\u2014a child trying to make sense of disconnection, inconsistency, or overwhelm. And over time, those experiences form beliefs like: \u201cI am not enough.\u201d \u201cI am too much.\u201d \u201cI am on my own.\u201d To cope with those beliefs, we develop roles\u2014ways of being that help us stay connected, accepted, or safe. But what once protected us can later leave us feeling disconnected from who we truly are. Reflection for This Week When you notice shame showing up, pause and ask: \u201cWhat am I believing about myself right now?\u201d Then gently remind yourself: \u201cThat belief was learned.\u201d Healing begins not by forcing new beliefs\u2014but by meeting old ones with compassion. Resources Mentioned \u2022 No Bad Parts \u2013 Richard Schwartz \u2022 The Body Keeps the Score \u2013 Bessel van der Kolk \u2022 Healing the Shame That Binds You \u2013 John Bradshaw \u2022 The Gifts of Imperfection \u2013 Bren\u00e9 Brown Coming Next In Episode 4, we explore how trauma lives in the body\u2014and why understanding the nervous system is essential for healing. If you\u2019ve ever felt like your body reacts before your mind can catch up, that conversation will meet you there. ","author_name":"Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace","author_url":"https:\/\/www.greater-things.com","html":"