{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"490: Dr. Taylor Chesney on Sexting, Bullying, and Social Media","description":"Sexting, Bullying, and Social Media-- A Compassionate, Practical Guide for Parents of Teens Today, we welcome back one of our favorite guests, Taylor Chesney, director of the Feeling Good Institute in New York City. Taylor specializes in TEAM-CBT with children and adolescents and brings a rare combination of clinical expertise and real-life wisdom as the mother of four. Parents everywhere are worried about social media, sexting, porn, bullying, and the fear that their kids are doing \u201cwho knows what\u201d behind closed doors. In this episode, Taylor offers a refreshing and deeply practical message: the solution isn\u2019t better apps, stricter rules, or surveillance\u2014it\u2019s connection. Why Blaming Technology Misses the Point Teen brains are still developing. They\u2019re impulsive, thrill-seeking, and wired for belonging and validation. Give teens instant access to peers and social media, and mistakes are inevitable. Taylor emphasizes that technology itself isn\u2019t good or bad\u2014it amplifies what\u2019s already happening in a teen\u2019s emotional world. The real question isn\u2019t how to eliminate technology, but how parents can guide kids in using it safely and thoughtfully. The Real Protective Factor: Communication Parents often ask, \u201cWhat app should I install?\u201d or \u201cHow do I stop this?\u201d Taylor suggests these questions lead to dead ends. What truly protects teens is a relationship where they feel: understood rather than judged supported rather than interrogated safe coming to parents after a mistake As Taylor explains, for most teens it\u2019s not if they\u2019ll face a difficult online situation\u2014it\u2019s when. The goal is to make sure they come to you when it happens. How to Talk So Teens Will Open Up Using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, especially the Disarming Technique, parents can shift from policing to coaching. Instead of: \u201cWhy were you on your phone?\u201d Try: \u201cHelp me understand what was going on for you.\u201d This approach reduces secrecy and increases trust. Porn, Sexting, and Shame Discovering porn or sexting can trigger panic and anger in parents\u2014but shaming almost always backfires. Taylor suggests responding with curiosity and empathy: \u201cWhat was that like for you?\u201d \u201cWhat do you understand about the difference between porn and real intimacy?\u201d Sexting often begins innocently\u2014seeking connection, validation, or closeness\u2014but once an image is sent, control is lost. Open conversations help teens think ahead without feeling judged or controlled. Parents can also teach teens simple, self-respecting responses like: \u201cI care about you, but I don\u2019t need to send that to prove it.\u201d Bullying and Online Drama Online bullying mirrors real-life dynamics\u2014but faster, more public, and more permanent. Taylor shares concrete skills teens can use: Pause before responding Don\u2019t engage when emotions are high Exit or mute toxic chats Involve an adult early Helpful phrases teens can practice include: \u201cThis chat is getting mean\u2014I\u2019m stepping out.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not comfortable with this.\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s take a break.\u201d The Big Takeaway Mistakes\u2014by teens and parents\u2014are inevitable. The real danger isn\u2019t errors; it\u2019s secrecy. When kids know they can come to their parents without fear of shame or punishment, they make better decisions and recover more quickly when things go wrong. As Taylor puts it: \u201cThe kids with the best relationships with their parents make the best decisions.\u201d Thanks for listening, and heartfelt thanks to Taylor for this wise, compassionate, and deeply reassuring conversation. \u2014 David, Rhonda, and Taylor ","author_name":"Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy","author_url":"https:\/\/feelinggood.com\/category\/podcast\/","html":"