{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"EFR 921: Why You People-Please: Understanding the Fawning Trauma Response (Toxic Hope vs Reality) with Dr. Ingrid Clayton","description":"This episode is brought to you by LMNT, Audible and Strong Coffee Company. You\u2019ve probably heard of the trauma responses fight, flight, and freeze \u2014 but there\u2019s a fourth response that may be shaping your life without you even realizing it: fawning. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Ingrid Clayton, PhD a clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and author of Fawning, to understand why people-pleasing, over-accommodating, and self-abandonment are not personality flaws \u2014 they\u2019re intelligent survival responses your nervous system learned to keep you safe. You\u2019ll learn how fawning develops when fight, flight, or freeze aren\u2019t available \u2014 especially in childhood, unequal power dynamics, toxic relationships, and work environments where your safety or stability feels at risk. You\u2019ll also discover how living in a chronic fawn response can quietly disconnect you from your needs, your voice, your body, and your sense of self. This conversation helps you recognize why \u201cjust setting boundaries\u201d often feels impossible, why you may disappear in relationships, and why choosing yourself can feel terrifying even when you know something needs to change. Most importantly, you\u2019ll hear why none of this means something is wrong with you \u2014 you make sense. If you\u2019ve been stuck in survival mode, waiting for permission, approval, or safety outside yourself, this episode will help you understand what\u2019s been happening beneath the surface \u2014 and how you can begin moving forward by reconnecting with who you truly are. Follow Ingrid @ingridclaytonphd Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 \u2013 Introducing the \u201cFourth F\u201d: What Is Fawning? 02:16 \u2013 Why Fawning Is Not a Conscious Choice 03:40 \u2013 Power, Safety, and Why Fight or Flight Aren\u2019t Always Options 07:43 \u2013 Living in Chronic Survival Mode 09:27 \u2013 When Fawning Becomes Your \u201cPersonality\u201d 12:09 \u2013 Empaths, Hypervigilance, and Nervous System Trauma 13:40 \u2013 Apologizing to People Who Hurt You 16:22 \u2013 Befriending Bullies as De-Escalation 20:29 \u2013 Gender, Power, and Why Context Matters 24:03 \u2013 Ignoring a Partner\u2019s Bad Behavior 26:43 \u2013 Toxic Hope vs Reality 28:27 \u2013 Presence as a Path Out of Fawning 31:24 \u2013 Reality as a Regulating Force 35:02 \u2013 Fawning in the Workplace & Overgiving 37:26 \u2013 Choosing Yourself for the First Time 40:29 \u2013 Becoming Who You Already Are 43:56 \u2013 Why \u201cJust Set Boundaries\u201d Fails Trauma Survivors 48:02 \u2013 Listening to Yourself as the Path Forward 51:12 \u2013 Writing Fawning & Seeing the Bigger System 55:06 \u2013 Somatic Tools to Regulate the Nervous System 01:02:27 \u2013 Health Costs of Chronic Fawning 01:04:03 \u2013 Self-Abandonment Explained 01:06:19 \u2013 What \u201cEver Forward\u201d Means Through Trauma Healing ----- Episode resources: FREE electrolyte sample pack with any purchase at https:\/\/www.DrinkLMNT.com\/everforward FREE 30-day trial of my favorite audiobook app at https:\/\/www.AudibleTrial.com\/everforward 15% off organic lattes and coffee with code CHASE at https:\/\/www.StrongCoffeeCompany.com Watch and subscribe on YouTube Get Dr. Clayton's book "Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back" ","author_name":"Ever Forward Radio with Chase Chewning","author_url":"https:\/\/www.everforwardradio.com","html":"