{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"515-New Years Resolutions with Hope","description":"515-New Years Resolutions with Hope Happy New Year! If you\u2019re reading this a couple days into 2026\u2014welcome. And if you\u2019re reading this in the middle of 2037, it still applies. Because God is still on the throne. He is still a good Father. And He is still interested in crafting and molding your heart\u2014especially in the middle of real life\u2026 including the hard parts. Put Your Growth Mindset On (Yes, Literally) If you\u2019ve been in our Delight Your Marriage sphere for any length of time, you know I\u2019m a little obsessed with growth. So, the New Year is one of the things I look forward to the most. I want to share something that we do in coaching calls. It can honestly look silly\u2026 but it works. We put our hands over our heads like a hat and we say: \u201cPut your growth mindset on.\u201d Why?  Because the posture matters. A growth mindset says: \u201cGod can change me.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not finished yet.\u201d \u201cThis isn\u2019t the end of my story.\u201d \u201cMy marriage isn\u2019t stuck forever.\u201d A fixed mindset says: \u201cThis is just how I am.\u201d \u201cTake it or leave it.\u201d \u201cThis is all there is.\u201d For us as believers, a growth mindset is a reflection of our faith.  Our hope is rooted in a God who raises the dead (Romans 8:11), who changes hearts of stone into hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26), and who redeems the years the locusts have stolen (Joel 2:25).  Having a growth mindset is a reflection of the hope we have in Jesus. A New Year Reflection That Actually Changes You Here\u2019s what I like to do around the New Year (and yes, if you haven\u2019t done it yet, you still have time). I go month by month through the previous year and write down what I remember\u2014hard things, good things, major moments, heartache, breakthroughs. Then, I pray: \u201cGod, what do You want me to learn from this year?\u201d Because honestly\u2026 if He doesn\u2019t bring it to mind, maybe it isn\u2019t the thing He wants me to carry forward. Then after I list the moments, I write two categories: Wins Learnings Not because I\u2019m trying to build a scrapbook of accomplishments or places I fell short, but because I\u2019m trying to build wisdom. When You\u2019ve Been Crushed\u2026 God Is Doing Something There\u2019s a passage in 2 Corinthians 1 where Paul describes being: utterly weighed down crushed despairing of life itself And then he says this: 7 And our hope for you [our confident expectation of good for you] is firmly grounded [assured and unshaken], since we know that just as you share as partners in our sufferings, so also you share as partners in our comfort. 8 For we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about our trouble in [the west coast province of] Asia, how we were utterly burdened beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life [itself]. 9 Indeed, we felt within ourselves that we had received the sentence of death and were convinced that we would die, but this happened so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead. 10 He has rescued us from so great a danger of death, and will rescue us; on Him we have set our hope [and confident expectation] that He will continue to rescue us. -2 Corinthians 1:7\u201310 (AMP) That suffering was to keep them from trusting in themselves\u2026 and to depend on God who raises the dead. Friend\u2026 what if that pain you walked through wasn\u2019t proof God forgot you? What if it was proof He was calling you deeper? Not into self-reliance. Not into \u201cI\u2019ll just manage.\u201d But into dependence. And yes, dependence feels vulnerable. But it\u2019s also where hope is born. And we have a God that we CAN depend on. So wherever you relied on yourself this past year\u2026 know you can rely on God. The Subtle Trap: Distracting Yourself Instead of Depending on God Sometimes sneaks in during suffering: Distraction. When we hurt, we\u2019re tempted to numb. A screen. A scroll. A snack. A show. A YouTube rabbit hole. A constant something to get us away from feelings that are uncomfortable. And the question becomes: What am I trusting to comfort me? Is it God? Or is it a coping mechanism\u2014even a \u201cnormal\u201d one\u2014that quietly replaces Him? If we want to be dependent on God, it must be for our comfort too. You Can Do \u201cChristian Things\u201d and Still Miss Love In thinking of resolutions for the new year, we need to also think about the heart behind it.  I want you to take into consideration 1 Corinthians 13. It is not just a wedding reading. It\u2019s a mirror. You can do all sorts of impressive things: serve teach sacrifice prophesy lead build give generously \u2026and Scripture says: if it isn\u2019t done in love, it amounts to nothing. So here\u2019s a New Year question that matters more than \u201cDid I hit my goals?\u201d Did I love? Conviction Is Kindness (And Shame Is Not From God) In thinking about growth for the new year, consider Hebrews 12. It says \u2018God disciplines those He loves.\u2019 So, conviction is not God crushing you. Conviction is God reminding you of truth. The world doesn\u2019t know what to do with guilt and shame\u2014so they do mental gymnastics, or distract, or blame, or numb. But we know what to do. We run to Jesus. Because the gospel is not \u201ctry harder.\u201d The gospel is: Jesus lived the life we couldn\u2019t live, died the death we deserved, and made a way for us to walk in freedom. So whatever is being brought up as you look through your past year that you feel convicted of\u2026 good. That means you\u2019re alive.  Now bring it to Him. Don\u2019t Forget to Thank God for the Ways He Changed You In all of this, in looking back at your past year and all the things you \u201cchecked off\u201d, don\u2019t forget to also say thank you. One of the most humbling moments in Scripture is when Jesus heals ten lepers\u2026 and only one comes back to thank Him. How many times have we prayed: \u201cGod, change me.\u201d \u2026and then He does\u2026 \u2026and we move on like it was our willpower? When God grows you\u2014thank Him. Because He is good. Because He is faithful. Because your testimony becomes someone else\u2019s hope. Your Identity Isn\u2019t What People Say\u2014It\u2019s What God Says Another thing to take into this year is that people may misunderstand you. They may assume motives, they may hold your past over your head, even after you\u2019ve repented. And you know what? Jesus was falsely accused too. So yes, sometimes we process feedback and ask God: \u201cIs there something I need to learn here?\u201d But other times? You release it. Because your identity is: Beloved daughter.  Beloved son. He created you. He delights over you. And He is not done with you. Do not let the misunderstandings of this past year stop you from stepping into who God wants you to be in this new year. Jesus Has a Yoke for You\u2014and It\u2019s Lighter Than What You\u2019re Carrying Jesus says: \u201cCome to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.\u201d  -Matthew 11:28-30 So ask yourself: What have I been carrying that Jesus didn\u2019t ask me to carry? What do I need to leave behind in this past year? Social expectations? Other people\u2019s opinions? Constant stimulation? Endless noise? And then ask: What does it look like for me to come to Jesus? For me, it can look like: journaling on the couch with coffee and water worship on a walk playing the piano and singing to Him getting on my knees on the carpet and saying, \u201cLord, I need You.\u201d What about you? Because loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is not just good in theory. It is meant to be a lived practice. Who Are You Assigned to Love This Year? Finally, this is about WHO your assignment is this year. In most seasons, your assignments go like this: your spouse your children (if you have them) the people God places in front of you And yes\u2014when someone is suffering, priorities shift. We don\u2019t walk by wounded people like the Pharisee. But we also don\u2019t try to become the Holy Spirit for everyone. So here\u2019s a New Year question: Who is God calling me to love well\u2014consistently\u2014this year? Final Thoughts Maybe as you read this you\u2019re realizing: \u201cI\u2019m not patient or kind\u2026 not at home.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know how to love my spouse well.\u201d \u201cMy spouse was so mean last year.\u201d \u201cI was misunderstood by my friends and family.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m exhausted and numb and discouraged.\u201d We are here for you. And here\u2019s what I know after years of seeing real transformation: When God changes a man or a woman from the inside out\u2026 the marriage changes too. Not by manipulation or control. But by genuine love. We believe that this new year can be a year of incredible personal growth as well as beautiful transformation in your marriage. Don\u2019t let another year go by. We are here for you and we are rooting for you. Welcome to 2026!   With love,   The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - If you want help taking real action\u2014especially in your marriage\u2014your next step is to Schedule a free Clarity Call. It\u2019s a conversation to help you get clarity on where you are, what\u2019s happening, and what support would actually help. You can find it at: delightyourmarriage.com\/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching graduate: \u201cMy biggest struggle was frustration that while my wife and I were both committed to the LORD and faithful in personal prayer and devotions, as well as church attendance and fellowship with other mature Christians, we did not feel like our relationship was thriving\u2026 I felt alone and abandoned, didn\u2019t realize I craved respect, and rarely ever felt it. Intimacy was fairly regular, but very regimented\u2026[Now,] I have the tools\u2026I already see a lot of personal change in so many specific ways in which I interact with my wife, how I focus on her\u2026we\u2019ve just enjoyed being together more, with mini dates to delight her, and so many little practices I\u2019m implementing to revive her spirit\u201d ","author_name":"Delight Your Marriage","author_url":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com","html":"