{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"507-\u201cMarriage First\u201d Makes Your Life Unstable","description":"\u201cMarriage First\u201d Makes Your Life Unstable At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, \u201cWell done, good and faithful servant.\u201d  That\u2019s the goal that keeps me grounded\u2014and I know many of you share that desire. But here\u2019s a hard truth I\u2019ve learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble. Why \u201cFamily First\u201d Doesn\u2019t Work I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, \u201cYou think God has to be first\u2014but I think family should be first.\u201d His heart was sincere, but the fruit of that mindset showed otherwise.  When family is first, everything depends on emotions\u2014how your spouse treats you, how the kids behave, whether things feel peaceful at home. That\u2019s not stability. That\u2019s shifting sand. We see the effects of this all around us. Divorce rates hover around 50%. Even pastors and counselors admit they rarely had a healthy marriage modeled for them.  Most people are doing their best, but without a biblical foundation, their \u201cbest\u201d can\u2019t hold up when life gets hard. The Biblical Order That Brings Stability Scripture gives us the right order: \u201cLove the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.\u201d \u2014 Mark 12:30\u201331 That means I love my first neighbor\u2014my spouse\u2014because I love God. Why do I forgive in marriage? Because God is first.Why do I love my husband well? Because God is first.Why do I serve my family with joy? Because God is first. When we build our lives on that rock, we become steady\u2014even when the storms hit.  Illness, loss, special needs, mental health struggles\u2014these things shake every marriage. But when God comes first, everything else finds its right place. Feelings Aren\u2019t God\u2014God\u2019s Word Is We live in a \u201cfollow your feelings\u201d culture. If you don\u2019t feel in love anymore, the world says, find someone new. But feelings aren\u2019t truth. God\u2019s Word is. You\u2019re serving the King of Kings, and your marriage is part of that assignment. Like the Roman soldiers in Gladiator fought for the glory of Rome; as believers, we live for the glory of God. That means our choices in marriage\u2014our words, our intimacy, our tone\u2014should all be for His glory. Believers are called to die to ourselves. That includes our moods and even our sexual desires.  Scripture is clear: \u201cDo not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time... then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you.\u201d \u2014 1 Corinthians 7:5 That\u2019s not about coercion or obligation\u2014it\u2019s about love expressed God\u2019s way.  When I choose intimacy with my husband, it\u2019s not because I feel like it every time. It\u2019s because I love God. And when I embrace His design with joy, the byproduct is a beautiful, connected marriage. Marriage as a Path to Holiness Author Gary Thomas famously asked, \u201cWhat if marriage is meant to make us holy, not happy?\u201d The amazing thing is\u2014when we pursue holiness, happiness often follows. That\u2019s why we teach the Delight Your Marriage Framework: Husbands need to have respect, admiration, and wholehearted intimacy. Wives need to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished. We love our spouse in the way they receive love, not the way we prefer to give it. Because real love is about understanding and serving the other. (You can download the full framework at DelightYourMarriage.com\/framework.) The Power of God\u2019s Word to Transform David Wood\u2014a former atheist and sociopath whose life was radically changed by Scripture. Even after becoming a Christian, he noticed that when he stopped reading the Bible for a few days, dark thoughts would return. That\u2019s how powerful God\u2019s Word is\u2014it changes us from the inside out. If you\u2019re struggling to love your spouse, to forgive, to stay faithful, start here: get your nose in the Word. Not scrolling. Not skimming. Reading. Slowly. With a heart open to hear God. Even one verse a day in a physical Bible can soften your heart. Make it a habit. Let the Word wash over you. Final Thoughts If you have put your marriage above Jesus, it\u2019s not too late to turn it around. He is a safe person to put your trust in. You can trust His Word and His design. It is on purpose, for a purpose\u2026 and it is Good.   Blessings,   The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - If you are interested in taking the next step, putting God first, above your marriage, we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call and chat with one of Clarity Advisors. PPS - Want to see this work in your churches? Our In-Person Training is launching nationwide in January and we would love for your church to be a part of it. Click here to learn more. PPPS - Here is what a recent graduate had to say:\u201cThe DYM program has helped me grow as a husband and learn how to better serve my wife and our relationship has been growing in all areas as a result.  She just told me this week that she used to feel tension when I came home from work and that tension is gone. Big change which has led to growth for us both. Belah's insights and coaching have been amazing and I've discovered God's purpose for us and our marriage at a new level!  Thanks DYM!\u201d ","author_name":"Delight Your Marriage","author_url":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com","html":"