{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"Large Adult Pool","description":"On this week's Keepin' It Real, Cam's visit to a hotel on the Gulf this wekend got Cam to thinking about how some people, well, they just don't get it... ----- Tuesday I checked into a hotel in Gulf Shores at the Gulf State Lodge. \u201cWhere is the free parking?\u201d I asked. \u201cWe don\u2019t have any. You can pay to park or pay a little extra and I\u2019ll park it.\u201d This is the bell staff at the front door. I handed him my car key. \u201cWhere is a luggage cart? I have a bunch of stuff to get to my room for my workshop tomorrow.\u201d \u201cGuests aren\u2019t allowed to use luggage carts. Only bell staff.\u201d \u201cSo for me to take my stuff to my room I\u2019d need to take multiple trips?\u201d I asked. \u201cYes. But you can\u2019t leave your stuff here.\u201d \u201cSo the only way to comply is to ask you to assist me to my room.\u201d \u201cSomething like that. We only allow bell staff to move luggage. Guests can\u2019t move their own luggage.\u201d I\u2019m not liking this. Southern hotels confuse politeness with hospitality. He was very polite. He was not hospitable. What this hotel is thinking is customer service is to me nothing but angling for tips and making my trip more expensive. I\u2019m not happy but trying to not let it get to me. My wife has me writing a gratitude journal because, apparently I\u2019m good at noticing when things conspire against me. The bellman walked my luggage and me to my hotel room and I\u2019m working to change my first impression. Gratitude, I\u2019m repeating to myself. Gratitude. Along the way he pointed to some construction happening between the hotel and the water\u2019s edge and he shared that if I were to come back in the spring my room would overlook a new large adult pool. Oh, man. Did you hear it? This was it. This was going to change things. A dangling modifier. Oh MAN. This is fuel of bad dad jokes. This is candy for self-appointed funny people like me. For centuries dads have pounced on dangling modifiers to get chuckles from strangers and eye rolls from family. The bellman\u2019s laughter would completely change how I felt about this hotel. My mind quickly began preparing. The timing and delivery had to be perfect. I started thinking forward to how and when and where. The bellman helped me into my hotel room and unloaded his sacred luggage cart. I walked to the window and pulled back the curtain. It was time. \u201cSo,\u201d I said, \u201cnext spring if I were to check in this room and pull back the curtains just like this, I\u2019d get an eye-full or large adults? I\u2019m not so sure I\u2019d want that. Certainly not want to pay extra for that view.\u201d There it was. So well done. Masterfully delivered. I could see no scars around his face or head where his humor had been surgically removed but that could be the only explanation. \u201cNo,\u201d he said, \u201cthe pool will be large. It will be a large pool.\u201d I gave him twenty dollars, and he turned and pushed his sacred cart into the hall. \u201cThank you,\u201d he said, stuffing the money into his pocket.  He thought it was a tip, but I was paying him to go away. I\u2019m Cam Marston just trying to Keep it Real. ","author_name":"Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston","author_url":"https:\/\/cammarston.com\/keepin-it-real-with-cam-marston\/","html":"