{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"Jen Loses Teddy To Suicide","description":"In this raw and profoundly moving episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler sits down with Jen, a bereaved sibling who lost her brother Teddy to suicide in 2017. Jen and Teddy shared an incredibly close bond, growing up as part of a large Sicilian family just outside of Boston. But their story begins even earlier\u2014Teddy was a micro-preemie twin who survived against all odds, unknowingly carrying deep grief for his twin, Joseph, who died shortly after birth. Jen opens up about the fierce sibling connection they shared, their upbringing in a culture that didn\u2019t talk about emotions, and the invisible scars Teddy carried after a childhood marked by severe bullying, trauma, and being misunderstood. Despite his vibrant, goofy, and deeply caring personality, Teddy struggled silently with mental health throughout his life. This episode explores the reality of surviving sibling suicide, the hidden pain many carry, and the complex journey of grief, guilt, and healing. Jen shares how she only began to process her loss years later during the pandemic and how therapy has helped her reframe her survivor\u2019s guilt and begin to find peace. She also reflects on the final moments, the call that changed everything, and the weight of not getting to say goodbye. If you\u2019ve ever felt the heartbreak of suicide loss, struggled with survivor\u2019s guilt, or longed for healing in a family that doesn\u2019t talk about grief\u2014Jen\u2019s story will show you that you are not alone, and your voice matters. In This Episode: (00:01:09) \u2013 Growing Up Sicilian Jen describes her \u201cfree-range childhood\u201d and the powerful, chaotic closeness of growing up in a big Sicilian family, where cousins felt like siblings. (00:02:31) \u2013 Teddy\u2019s Early Arrival & Twin Loss Teddy was born four months premature in 1975. His twin, Joseph, passed away shortly after birth\u2014a fact Jen discovered years later on her own. (00:06:00) \u2013 Protector & Big Sister From defending Teddy against bullies to enduring the silence of their home life, Jen shares what it meant to be the older sister in a family that didn\u2019t talk about pain. (00:12:00) \u2013 School, Stereotypes & Sibling Comparisons Jen reflects on how academic pressure, comparison, and cultural expectations shaped both her and Teddy in very different ways. (00:15:22) \u2013 Therapy & Rewriting the Narrative A family photo once filled with shame becomes a moment of healing thanks to therapy\u2014Jen discusses the power of reframing grief and guilt. (00:19:00) \u2013 Discovering Teddy\u2019s Twinhood Jen recalls the moment she discovered Teddy was a surviving twin and the emotional weight of finding a note he once wrote to God, asking if his brother was safe in heaven. (00:22:00) \u2013 2017: The Year Everything Changed After losing his beloved grandmother and a close friend, Teddy's grief deepened. Jen shares how she never saw the signs of his declining mental health. (00:26:00) \u2013 A Life of Trauma and Suppression From childhood bullying to a near-institutionalization as a teen, Jen uncovers the deep traumas Teddy endured\u2014and how their family culture of silence kept him from healing. (00:30:00) \u2013 Teddy\u2019s First Suicide Attempt In 2003, Teddy survived a suicide attempt on Boston\u2019s Tobin Bridge. Jen recounts the hospital call that changed everything\u2014and how the stigma around mental health silenced the conversation for years. (00:32:00) \u2013 Saying Goodbye Was Not Easy Jen discusses the complicated decisions her family made after Teddy\u2019s death, the tension surrounding his service, and the 400 people who came to say goodbye. (00:35:00) \u2013 The Call That Changed Everything Jen shares the moment she learned of Teddy\u2019s death\u2014and how her family\u2019s avoidance of grief left her in prolonged shock for nearly three years. (00:42:00) \u2013 Grief Bubble & Delayed Healing Without the space to grieve immediately, Jen\u2019s own grief journey was stunted. She talks about what it means to be \u201cstrong for the family\u201d and the emotional cost of silence. (00:44:00) \u2013 The Pandemic Awakening It wasn\u2019t until the COVID-19 pandemic that Jen was forced to sit with her thoughts\u2014and finally begin to unpack her trauma and start to heal. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings.  If you or someone you love is struggling with mental health or suicidal thoughts, help is available. Please reach out to a mental health professional or call your local crisis line. You are never alone. Connect with Jen:  Facebook: https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jen.hoye Instagram: https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/jen.and.pen\/ Website: https:\/\/www.jenniferhoye.com\/miles   Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/survivingsiblingspodcast\/ Maya's Instagram: https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/mayaroffler\/ TikTok: https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https:\/\/x.com\/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast ","author_name":"The Surviving Siblings\u00ae","author_url":"https:\/\/www.thesurvivingsiblings.com","html":"