{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"You Get Exactly The Marriage You Deserve (What If?)","description":"What if the marriage you\u2019re living is the exact marriage you deserve? I know\u2014sounds harsh, right? But hang with me. In over ten years of coaching men through separation, I\u2019ve learned that treating this \u201cwhat-if\u201d as true is the quickest way to spotlight the blind spots you're contributing to the breakdown of the relationship. Go to https:\/\/husbandhelphaven.com\/episode-26 for a full episode overview. 00:00 Introduction  00:20 You Get The Marriage You Deserve... Sort of 01:00 Key to Uncovering Blind Spots 03:44 How to Use this "What If" 04:29 Am I Too Harsh on Husbands? 05:42 Why You Should Want This To Be True 08:17 Addressing The Peace Keepers 12:10 The Danger of Peacekeeping 14:22 Key Takeaways 16:11 If you remember one thing... 17:33 Moving Forward With Self-Awareness \u201cStephen\u2026 isn\u2019t that a little harsh?\u201d Yes, and it\u2019s meant to jolt us awake. I\u2019m not saying you deserve pain or betrayal. I\u2019m asking you to imagine you might be a bigger part of the problem than you realize. I often see two typical reactions to this statement: \u201cNope, not me!\u201d \u2192 usually indicates pride, unwillingness to self-examine. \u201cOkay\u2026 maybe.\u201d \u2192 usually indicates humility, openness to learn, far easier to coach. The question forces healthy self-interrogation: \u201cWhat would I need to be blind to for this to be true?\u201d Why You Should Want This To Be True You have more power than you think \u2013 If your habits helped create the mess, your new habits can help clean it up. Divorce \u2260 Automatic Fix \u2013 You can\u2019t divorce yourself. Growth\u2014not escape\u2014is the thing that brings lasting change. Pride Shattered, Humility Unleashed \u2013 Humility and marital satisfaction rise (or fall) together. Most lessons in this series seek to help you do one of three things: Set aside ego, Consider your wife\u2019s experience, Proactively do better\u2014because there is better to do. Big Takeaways You\u2019ll Hear It\u2019s not literally true you always get exactly what you deserve\u2014but acting as if can uncover life-changing blind spots. Every marriage contains two flawed humans carrying baggage and ignorance. When those go unexamined, dissatisfaction skyrockets. \u201cYou don\u2019t have a ceiling\u2014you do have blind spots.\u201d Deny that, and your best-possible marriage stays out of reach. ","author_name":"Husband Help Haven Podcast: Marriage Advice for Men Facing Separation, Affair or Divorce","author_url":"https:\/\/husbandhelphaven.com","html":"