{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"Episode 33- 10 Commandments for Blended Families with Joel Hawbaker","description":"The 10 Commandments for Blended Families In the same way Jesus summarized the law and the prophets in two great commandments, so the 10CBF can be summarized in what I call the 2 Pillars: 1. Be the adult you want your child(ren) to become. 2. Remember the Golden Rule and treat others the way you want to be treated. I. Communicate Well - Over communicate with all adults involved: choose a format\/technology that works, and use it. When in doubt, communicate about it. II. Always Show Respect - Be respectful, calm, and patient with everyone involved, even if you\u2019re the only one doing it. III. Use Discernment - Learn to choose your battles very carefully: differentiate between personal dislikes and \u2018red flag\u2019 issues. IV. Give Way Graciously - Be willing to graciously give way on minor issues. Yes, this comes with risk, but it\u2019s still the right thing to do sometimes. V. Choose to Believe the Best - Choose to believe the best about the other household, and be sure to celebrate and acknowledge it when you see it VI. Express Genuine Gratitude - Be sure to show gratitude as often as possible whenever a joint agreement is reached, even on minor matters. VII. Model Maturity and Wisdom - Remember every day that you are the adult, and your task is to model maturity and wisdom for your children. Your task is NOT to \u2018win\u2019, get revenge, or even get your own way. VIII. Ask for Help - Get help before a frustration becomes a full-blown crisis. Ask for 3rd-party help from a counselor, pastor, neutral friend, or someone else that all parties are comfortable with. IX. Use Discretion - Be careful about what you say to or in front of your children or others outside your family. Work through your personal issues on your time, NOT in front of or by involving the children. X. Be Consistent - Be as consistent as possible at both (or all) houses in all areas of life. Also remember that total consistency is impossible, even in traditional families. Joel was educated at Covenant College, Joel Hawbaker is a former teacher and soccer coach, now working in telecom sales when he\u2019s not speaking with or coaching blended families. He has two daughters from his first marriage, and he and his wife Maryellyn recently celebrated their tenth anniversary. They have a toddler daughter, and they are expecting their first son this October. The family lives in Alabama with their two rescue dogs, Butterscotch and Bruiser. You can find more resources about blended families at... social media (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and IG:) @joelwhawbaker website (www.stepdadding.com) podcast (10CBF: A Podcast for Blended Families on Apple Podcasts)  email: joel@joelwhawbaker.com ","author_name":"A Beautiful Adventure Marriage","author_url":"https:\/\/sites.libsyn.com\/450339","html":"