{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"How to reframe failure","description":"There are a lot of things about being an entrepreneur that I avoid, but one of the silliest is opening physical mail. When I was starting Robin\u2019s Cafe, I got a lot of mail - plans from the San Francisco planning department, legal documents, food permitting, alcohol permitting, pest control notifications, more. I was so busy figuring out the day-to-day of running the business that I developed the bad habit of just ignoring mail and leaving the pile to build up on my desk for weeks on end. When I finally got around to dealing with the pile, there was always a notice that I\u2019d ignored for too long - a vendor I was late to pay, an IRS document I\u2019d missed, etc. As we all do when a task is too big, I came to dread opening my mail. Failure as discouragement When you fail at a task, the experience is often one of discouragement, and that discouragement leads to a diminished desire to attempt that same task in the future. As I discussed recently, success is usually tied to positive feelings and the release of dopamine. Negative feelings often have the opposite effect and result in a feedback loop of negativity and failure. For me, that meant avoiding the mail until I discovered late bills, which meant I\u2019d continue to dread opening mail and let it pile up further. Failure is often a sign that the task you are trying to undertake is too big. A trick, then, is to leverage the cue of the negative feelings of \u201cI can\u2019t do this\u201d into action and try again, but make the next attempt different. One way to do this is to break the task down into smaller parts. Make the next step smaller When you are overwhelmed by a new behavior, the easiest way to tackle it is by making the next step smaller. I don\u2019t need to open and respond to all of my mail on the day it arrives. A small step is to open every envelope, even if I don\u2019t take the mail out right away. This small step moves things forward and makes the next steps - removing the contents, reading them, responding - easier. Take your large goal and just take one small step in the right direction. Create positive associations I have a letter opener that I really love - it is a beautiful folding knife with an olivewood handle. I\u2019ve learned, in the years since Robin\u2019s Cafe, that I derive a particular delight in opening mail with this knife. Look for ways that you can create positive associations around the edges of the habit you\u2019ve been avoiding. Positive feelings equate to feelings of success. Play more Play and self-judgment are antithetical. When we are being playful or curious with a habit, it is impossible to regard an outcome as a \u201cfailure.\u201d The best way I know how to play - especially when I\u2019m not feeling playful - is to get profoundly curious about the task I\u2019m trying to accomplish. Another is to make a game of the process. Personally, I get delighted when I see weeks worth of dealt-with mail pile up in my recycling bin! Look for a step by step breakdown You can almost always find a step-by-step breakdown of the task you are trying to accomplish. Google \u201chow to do x\u201d or interview someone better at that thing than you are. If you\u2019ve hit a roadblock and aren\u2019t sure how to make a task more manageable, someone else has likely solved this problem before you. In writing this article, I asked a few friends about how they handled their daily deluge of mail and got some interesting ideas I\u2019ll try in the future! At Zander Media, I receive 10x less physical mail than I did at the cafe. And while there are still remnants of my avoidant behavior, I\u2019m excited to reframe failure as a cue for novel action. These days, I look for areas of my life where I\u2019ve historically failed and replace the cue of failure with the understanding that I haven\u2019t made that behavior small enough, yet. Now, your turn: what\u2019s something you\u2019ve failed at, recently? Reply back and I\u2019ll respond with one idea for how to turn that failure into a learning opportunity! Until next time, Robin ","author_name":"Snafu w\/ Robin Zander","author_url":"http:\/\/www.robinpzander.com\/","html":"