{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"S3E3: Knowing That You Are Enough Featuring Adrienne \u201cGam\u201d Norris","description":"In this third episode of Couched in Color, Dr. Alfiee goes deep with guest Adrienne Banfield Norrris, better known as \u201cGammy\u201d or \u201cGam\u201d from Red Table Talk, a popular talk show with candid conversations among three generations of Black women. Gam is the mother of Jada Pinkett Smith, mother-in-law of Will Smith, and grandmother to Willow who is also on the show. She courageously talks about living through addiction, continuously battling low self-esteem, not feeling good enough, and dealing with fame.  Even now, as she appears visibly confident on so many platforms\u2013from her own podcast to TV\u2013she admits she still has great nervousness and anxiety when on stage.  She shares how \u201cI shrink, lose my voice,\u201d noting her anxiousness when at a recent live event about her appearance on Black Love TV Series, now in its final season on OWN network:  \u201cHow that feels, the physical way it manifests, that nervousness, anxiety, I  get sick on my stomach, I kind of go blank,  overthink things and feel nauseous\u2026all of that is real feelings and, if you\u2019re Black in America, you\u2019re dealing with mental health challenges.\u201d Dr. Alfiee: \u201cWhat I love about what you do is you are so honest and open about your own experiences\u2026I think it\u2019s really hard for people to talk about ever having had a struggle with addiction and low self-esteem\u2026especially for those of us who are Black women.  We are just  beat up in so many ways. I don\u2019t care what your background is\u2026you\u2019re out there looking glamorous and beautiful and sitting at the Red Table, you, Jada and Willow, being so beautiful.\u201d  \u2013\u201cI tell people a lot, I have to manage my own anxiety.\u201d  GIVING OTHERS SPACE TO \u201cBE\u201d ENOUGH Gam shares that even though she always felt loved and heard as a child, she felt pressure to meet her parents\u2019 high expectations, which she believes could be part of her low self-esteem.  She met those expectations, graduating magna cum laude \u201dfull-on addiction.\u201d Dr. Alfiee: \u201cYour daughter and son-in-law really give their kids space to fully express themselves\u2026to let them know \u2018You are a fully realized human being\u2026so just go out there and be great,\u2019 and I don\u2019t know how many of us get that.\u201d Gam: \u201cIt was your parents\u2019 way or the highway, all these rules to follow.\u201d Dr. Alfiee:   \u201cMy mom always said, baby, there is nothing you can\u2019t do\u2026I always felt someone pushing behind me.\u201d \u201cEven when kids are successful, you were a successful high achieving kid, if you feel like there  is a bar, you reach that bar, and there\u2019s another bar to follow, and you are never able to rest in the knowledge that who you are and what you do is enough. And I feel like a lot of us struggle with that\u2026that we\u2019re not enough.\u201d Gam: \u201cWhen you\u2019re in a Black community and you have everyday struggles, it\u2019s like listen girl, put on your big girl panties.\u2019\u2019 \u201cYou have to be careful with how you handle people, and allow people their journey and their space.\u201d Dr. Alfiee:  \u201cIf a person is spiritual, it\u2019s not us, so if we interfere with that person\u2019s journey, what lessons are we preventing them from learning by trying to rush in and fix everything.\u201d She quoted an interview she recently heard about how \u201cThings don\u2019t happen to you, they happen for you,\u201d which she says profoundly changed her thinking. Dr. Alfiee: \u201cI don\u2019t ever want to be late.  When you\u2019re Black and a woman, in the workplace, you don\u2019t want to mess up, because your mess ups feel like they are the worst mess ups in the world.  Other people can mess up but I can\u2019t mess up.\u201d CHALLENGES OF FAME:Gam:  \u201cI\u2019m always being observed so I can\u2019t always be my authentic self\u2026I\u2019m a representative of our family.\u201d \u201cYou wonder about people who want to know you, is it really for you or is it for the fame?\u201d (acknowledging even those without fame can struggle with that same question about why people want to get to know you). \u201cSomebody always wants something from you, but it\u2019s all good. Where I would be if people didn\u2019t enjoy what I was sharing. It\u2019s a privilege, which keeps me humble and grateful.\u201d Dr. Alfiee:  \u201cOne thing I struggle with is people feeling entitled to proximity\u2026like you should call me back, be present to me because I support you, you should give me your time.  I try to manage my anxiety telling me I should respond, to go do this, just because someone asks.  It helps me to practice mindfulness, and come back to the present.  Just be here now and then I can make clear decisions.\u201d Follow Adrienne "Gam" Norris: Positively Gam (Podcast): https:\/\/linktr.ee\/gammynorris Instagram: https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/gammynorris Red Table Talk:https:\/\/redtabletalk.com Positively GAM Podcast: https:\/\/linktr.ee\/gammynorris Black Love TV Series (final season) Saturdays at 10 p.m. on OWN: https:\/\/www.oprah.com\/app\/black-love.html Follow Dr. Alfiee:                            Website:  https:\/\/dralfiee.com Instagram: https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/dralfiee Twitter: https:\/\/twitter.com\/dralfiee Linkedin: https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/dralfiee\/ Website at https:\/\/dralfiee.com Find out more about the AAKOMA Project here: https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=yvTKmYKi24I Season 3 Produced By: https:\/\/socialchameleon.us More Couched in Color: https:\/\/dralfiee.com\/podcast Music Produced by: Mark \u201cKing\u201d Batson (Superproducer of your favorite artists and Grammy award-winner for albums with Eminem and Beyonc\u00e9) ","author_name":"Couched in Color","author_url":"http:\/\/couchedincolorpod.libsyn.com\/","html":"