{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"#125 - You Have the Power: Revisiting Step 3 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution Process","description":"In case you haven\u2019t already heard, I\u2019m holding monthly boundaries clarifier workshops. At these events, we walk through the first four steps of the 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier. Today\u2019s episode was inspired by something that came up in the very first of these workshops: Step 3 (Identifying Your Power Center) is challenging for a lot of people. That\u2019s why today\u2019s episode is all about this step of the process, and how to decide between your four options. Biggest Takeaways From Episode #125: Identifying your power center is incredibly important. Getting it wrong can lead you to think that you don\u2019t have the power to create your desired outcome, or you might believe that you have more power than you actually do. Even when you don\u2019t have the power to create the outcome that you want, this doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re doomed. But keep in mind that \u201cI want you to change\u201d isn\u2019t an option for an outcome. You have four options to decide between in terms of your ability to create the outcome you want: 1. I have the power, 2. I need to ask for help, 3. I need to make a request, or 4. I am powerless.  Making a request is often not the best option. If you\u2019re an enthusiastic request-maker, ask yourself whether there\u2019s another way to get your needs met before making a request. (If you tend not to ever make requests or as, this advice isn\u2019t for you!)   Highlights from Episode #125: Welcome to the episode! We hear that today\u2019s episode involves a deep dive into Step 3 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution. [00:39] Vicki reviews the first two steps of the 5-Step Boundary Solution process. [06:21] We hear the four options for your answers to Step 3, and Vicki shares an example to clarify how these options work. [09:28] The first option is \u201cI have the power to create the outcome I want.\u201d Vicki explores this one in more depth. [11:34] Vicki invites listeners to think of situations where you\u2019ve been recurrently irritated by someone else\u2019s behavior, and points out the problem with prioritizing others\u2019 negative thinking. [20:49] We hear an example from Vicki\u2019s life about how asking someone to change didn\u2019t work, and learn what she does instead. [25:05] We learn about the second option: \u201cI need to ask for help.\u201d [26:50] Vicki talks about the third option: needing to make a request. She explains why it\u2019s potentially problematic and might not be the best way to get the outcome you want. [29:01] There are definitely times when you need to make a request. We hear a few examples. [37:26] The fourth and final option is to acknowledge that you can\u2019t create the outcome that you want: I am powerless. [41:31] Vicki explores an important caveat about choosing the fourth option. [46:23]   Links and Resources: Vicki\u2019s Boundaries Clarifier Workshops Vicki Tidwell Palmer Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram The Radiant Threefold Path Beyond Bitchy on Spotify Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #1 \u2013 Boundaries: What They Are and Why They\u2019re So Misunderstood (start here and work your way forward for the foundations of this podcast!) Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #12 \u2013 Your Power Center (Step 3 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution) Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #124 \u2013 Repeat After Me: I Am Not Responsible For Other People\u2019s Feelings! ","author_name":"Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries","author_url":"https:\/\/victoriapriya.com","html":"