{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"How to Set Healthy Boundaries and Say No","description":"So many people talk to me about boundaries and have difficulty setting them   The reality is that if you struggle to say no to people or to have conversations where you need to point out difficulties or draw the line about what\u2019s acceptable and not acceptable, then you\u2019re going to have people walk all over you.   But the reality is that if we end up saying yes when we really don\u2019t want to, don\u2019t have time, or any other reason, then we end up feeling resentful, we\u2019re repeatedly programming ourselves that our feelings, time, our priorities don\u2019t matter.  Are we really saying that we don\u2019t matter?  I hope not, but sometimes perhaps we are.   The Mayo clinic has done research that concludes that saying no can help to reduce your stress levels and increase your happiness.   Reframe How You Think Saying no isn't mean or selfish, it's about rethinking that and recognising that you're honouring commitments you already have. You're setting expectation and setting out what's ok and what's not ok for you too. I like to say boundaries create respect. Listen to where I talk about how boundaries can enable you to create time to pursue other interests.   Say No to working all hours. So my interpretation of this is that it\u2019s OK to say \u2013 I\u2019ll respond during the hours of x and y. When you set your working hours, publicise them, tell people about them.   Draw a line through your diary.  Whether that\u2019s for a weekend, holiday or just a lunch break or other time when you know you need to concentrate without interruptions .. put a line through your diary.   Then you can have a simple phrase \u2026 I don\u2019t have availability at that time.  I don\u2019t have availability that week.   Be factual.  It\u2019s not personal, it\u2019s work. If you\u2019re on social media or in groups, clearly set out when you are available.  Tell people what you expect from them and what is not acceptable.  State this in your client calls or contracts too.   Communicating clearly includes learning to be comfortable saying NO to people   Too much waffle and they will pick holes in what you\u2019re saying.  No excuses \u2013 you don\u2019t really need to give an explanation, and often when there are excuses, you give people space to try and persuade you otherwise.  No is complete a sentence.  Which I love.  Sometimes that\u2019s all you need. That\u2019s pretty concise!   But if you\u2019re already feeling guilty or worrying about how No will be received, you\u2019ll need a bit more help.   The podcast episode gives real life examples of how you can say no with ease.   A word of caution though - be ready to have to repeat your no. You're going to have to repeatedly set your boundaries and say no to people who always want to push for a little more or to persuade you to do something.  It will take time for them to get the message.   That doesn't mean you're not doing it properly, it just means they need to hear it more than once.   Saying no won't be easy if you're used to saying yes all the time. But learning to say no is an important part of simplifying your life and managing your stress. And with practice, you may find saying no gets easier.   Please do make sure you hit \u2018subscribe\u2019 so that don\u2019t miss an episode.     If you haven\u2019t yet  left a review, please do go and find the little button to leave a review and let me know your thoughts, key take-aways and what you value from the podcast.   Join my corporate leadership and wellbeing newsletter HERE https:\/\/emmalangton.activehosted.com\/f\/20     If you want to be increasing your performance so that you\u2019re more resilient in these current times, so that you can focus easily, use tools and techniques to deal with all the current and unknown challenges then make sure that you either drop me an email emma@emmalangton.com.   Or head over to find the contact page and either send me a email from there or book an appointment straight into my diary \u2013 saving all that to-ing and fro-ing that you get when we try to get space in people\u2019s diary.   ","author_name":"Lessons for Leaders","author_url":"http:\/\/www.emmalangton.com\/","html":"