{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"#120 - The Man Cave, Take 2","description":"In case you missed it last time, I have an exciting announcement! Next month (February 2021), I\u2019ll be starting a brand new event: a monthly live, interactive boundary clarifier workshop. Sign up here to be the first to get updates! If someone is doing something that you don\u2019t like in any of your relationships, this episode is for you. You may remember Episode 71, when I talked about the man cave. In response to that episode, I got a fascinating listener question, and that\u2019s what I\u2019ll be addressing today. And while your situation may not be exactly the same as the listener\u2019s, I think you\u2019ll find something to relate to in her question and my answer.    Biggest Takeaways From Episode #120: Even during the pandemic, today\u2019s topic is still relevant. You can miss someone and feel lonely even when you\u2019re together\u2014for example, if your partner is glued to their phone all the time. When we\u2019re experiencing something unpleasant with another person, we tend to focus on the unpleasant experience or the other person\u2019s behavior. But the only place to start is to return to yourself instead of focusing on the other person. With an outside-in focus, you\u2019re focused on your partner, someone else, or something happening to you. Problematically, this means the only solution is to get the other person to change. On the other hand, an inside-out focus starts with you. You must start building the capacity to see when you\u2019re getting what you want. This isn\u2019t as simple as it sounds! Today\u2019s listener question is a perfect example of this.   Highlights from Episode #120: Welcome to the show! Vicki takes a moment to chat about her upcoming monthly boundary workshops. [00:39] Do you remember Episode 71, when Vicki talked about the man cave? Today\u2019s episode responds to a listener\u2019s question about that episode. [01:42] We hear the listener question that inspired this episode, which involves the \u201cman cave\u201d being in the bar rather than the house. [04:56] Vicki explains the first thing that pops out to her in this question: it involves a lot of the listener\u2019s partner, and not much about the listener herself. [08:35] Questions about the other person are distractions from the most important questions, which are about you. [12:07] What do you do when you just don\u2019t like how someone is showing up (or not)? [16:11] Vicki offers her advice for anyone who wants something more from a partner or spouse. [20:18] We learn about one of the dangers of wanting to become happier in a relationship. [25:34] To get more of what you want, notice and appreciate it when you get it\u2014and ignore the things you don\u2019t want more of. [29:28] Vicki answers the listener\u2019s question about whether she should stay in her own lane and find her own activities. [33:48] We hear a quick recap of the takeaways from today\u2019s episode. [38:22]   Links and Resources: Sign up for updates about Vicki\u2019s monthly boundary workshops beginning February 2021 Vicki Tidwell Palmer Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram The Radiant Threefold Path Beyond Bitchy on Spotify Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #71 \u2013 Men, Requests, & The Man Cave Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #102 \u2013 Should I Make a Request or Express a Desire? (For Women) Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by John Gray Laura Doyle ","author_name":"Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries","author_url":"https:\/\/victoriapriya.com","html":"