{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"Ep. 116: My Dieting Story {Replay}","description":"I\u2019m re-airing my first ever Quit Dieting for Good episode today! This one is all about my dieting story. It\u2019s a reminder I\u2019ve been where you are; I dieted for 15 years! It is completely possible to begin intuitive eating at any time in your life, no matter how long you\u2019ve been a dieter. I would love to help you apply intuitive eating principles to your life! Although I haven\u2019t accepted one-on-one clients for awhile, I have a few openings now since I\u2019m coming back from maternity leave. If you\u2019ve been thinking about trying intuitive eating out, I\u2019d love to connect with you and see if coaching might be the perfect next step. You can apply HERE. 7 Years of Intuitive Eating I started my own intuitive eating journey in May 2014! I love intuitive eating, and have no plans to do anything else. Since this episode about my dieting story aired (115 episodes ago!), I\u2019ve continued to grow my practice. Here\u2019s a quick update on that before we rewind all the way back to my dieting days. Something I especially appreciate about this way of living is that it can transition with you through any age and stage. I\u2019ve lived in two countries, gone through two pregnancies and births, and started a business \u2014 and intuitive eating has been part of my life through it all! The way I eat has changed over the years, because my body and life have changed. Intuitive eating has been a source of freedom and joy as I\u2019ve navigated other parts of my life (through the ups and the downs). I\u2019ve also found I\u2019m passionate about teaching others about intuitive eating because it WORKS. It\u2019s sustainable, it feels good, and it allows you to practice daily self-care. It\u2019s the honest truth: there\u2019s no reason you have to stay stuck in the dieting trap (even though it\u2019s January!). You get to build the life you want, and you don\u2019t have to diet to do it. Instead, you can learn about body confidence, self-care, loving yourself, and being free. Intuitive eating has served me well these last seven years, and I can\u2019t wait to see what comes next! A Few Updates Since Ep. #1! If this is our first time meeting, I\u2019m Caitlin Ball! I\u2019m married to an awesome guy, and we now have two adorable kids together. (If you\u2019re a sucker for baby pics, you can see the newest little guy here.) At the time I first recorded this Cooper was just 19 months old, so our family has been growing! Also, since this episode Jon and I have moved back to the San Francisco area. As much I treasured our time in Switzerland, it\u2019s wonderful to back near our friends and families. I have continued to work as a Health & Lifestyle Coach. In a nutshell, I help women learn to quit dieting and gain confidence in their bodies and selves. That includes 1-1 coaching, as well as a group coaching program called Quit Dieting for Good. My hobbies include yoga, baking, paint-by-numbers, and learning more about eco-friendly living. My favorite snack is chocolate \u2013 I don\u2019t let a day go by without indulging! (Side note: the grocery store chocolate in Switzerland is better than any chocolate I\u2019ve ever had in the US. It\u2019s insane!) My Dieting Story I\u2019ve always loved food! My grandpa used to tell this story that as a baby I would cry between bites of food because no one could feed me fast enough. Today, I still dream about food and love getting excited about my next meal. However\u2026.I also experienced a lot of discomfort in my body. I grew a lot faster than most other girls my age, which created an obvious size gap. In fact, in grade school pictures I was always placed next to the biggest guy in our class (who went on to become an NFL linebacker). On top of that, I was a little socially awkward. I was good at school, less so with the social stuff! By middle school, I started to think I was too chubby. Reading the magazines and seeing what others did inspired me to think I should start losing weight. My mom (who used to be a WW consultant) taught me how to count points. That summer, I lost 8 pounds. I was thrilled to show up for picture day with a new, slimmer face. The rush of confidence I felt about my weight loss felt so good. Starting the Yo-Yo Cycle Back at school, I gave up my dieting. I had slumber parties to go to, and pizza to enjoy! As you can probably guess\u2026I gained back all the weight I had been so proud to lose. Even when I wasn\u2019t officially dieting, calorie counting became a constant weight on my mind as well. Even when I was eating something I wanted to eat, I would feel tremendous guilt about eating things I knew I \u201cshouldn\u2019t\u201d be eating. Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches became my passion\u2026even though I had to eat 2-3 to be satisfied. Now, I realize that I was actually craving confidence. I had been uncomfortable in my body, and I wanted to be more social and confident like the girls I admired. In my mind, starting a new diet and losing weight was going to position me to look better and feel good about myself. Through high school my friends and I frequently dieted together. We\u2019d restrict ourselves to look great for the next dance or school event\u2026.then binge on all our favorite foods as soon as it was over. We also started getting interested in boys\u2026which led to my first boyfriend! Weight Loss & Approval Once I started hanging out with my boyfriend all the time, I was no longer using food to comfort and distract me. (I was having so much FUN!) Initially, that resulted in a lot of natural weight loss. My boyfriend\u2019s mom owned a high fashion clothing store, and on a trip to LA once she had me try on some of the clothes. I was the smallest I had ever been\u2026.but I couldn\u2019t fit into a lot of them. When we left, she said \u201cNow you know what you need to work towards.\u201d As I got more comfortable and settled into my new normal, however, I gradually put that weight back on. Unfortunately, his mom noticed, and she was not thrilled about it. She walked in on us eating ice cream once, squeezed my leg, and said \u201cCaitlin! You\u2019re going to get fat!\u201d Once, in front of his whole family, his mom told his aunt not to pressure me to try a donut because I needed to lose weight. Agh! If you\u2019ve had someone in your life offering you that sort of \u201cadvice\u201d or feedback, I feel your pain! That sort of thing really gets into your head, and it doesn\u2019t feel good. As I progressed through college, I went through cycles of partying, having tons of fun, and gaining weight\u2026.then going home for summer, dieting hard, and trying to return thinner than ever. In fact, I once got a terrible stomach bug over the summer and ended up thinking of it as \u201cthe jump start\u201d my body needed because it resulted in me losing 7 pounds. Loss and Comfort Food Losing my mom to breast cancer was tremendously hard, and I turned quickly to food to deal with the pain. Between the eating and the partying, I gained any weight I might have lost, sending me back into the restricting\/binging cycle typical of all diets. Looking back now, I can see that I was seeking comfort. At the time, however, it seemed like just eating. My first \u201cbreak\u201d from the dieting mentally came when I went abroad after college. I decided I wasn\u2019t going to calorie count or restrict myself, and that I could eat whatever I wanted. This was kind of like the first step of intuitive eating, except I wasn\u2019t doing any internal work alongside it! Pair that with the stressors of being in a new country, observing the anniversary of my mom\u2019s death far away from my family, and general struggles feeling comfortable with who I was\u2026.and you have a recipe for eating as a form of comfort and relief. When my family visited me for Christmas, my brother was immediately concerned for me. Up-Leveling My Dieting Game I realized I hadn\u2019t been taking care of myself very well, and I wanted to change. So\u2026back to dieting! I started using My Fitness Pal and attending spin classes. Eating \u201chealthy\u201d became an obsession, and I was constantly pushing myself to eat \u201cright\u201d. (Although Sundays were all about enjoying and overindulging since I knew I would be back to restricting on Mondays. You\u2019re probably familiar with that cycle!) I didn\u2019t yet know how to stop counting calories and enjoy eating! I tried running (and ran my probably-only-ever half marathon), and got into the smoothie cleanse trend. My friends and I were all doing a lot of the same things; eating \u201cgood\u201d food, working out, counting calories and following trends. And then\u2026 I started a baking blog! Even though I was giving away as much of it as I could, it was a struggle because the comfort of baking made me think of my mom. New Ways of Thinking About Food When I was dating my (now) husband, I remember thinking it was crazy he would quit eating with food on his plate. He\u2019d have a few bites left and just\u2026stop eating. When I questioned him he shrugged and said he just wasn\u2019t hungry anymore. Having grown up in a family that insisted you don\u2019t waste food and always cleaned your plate, that was crazy to me! (Plus, it just didn\u2019t make sense with the dieting story I had believed for so long.) Now I realize that Jon was just already practicing intuitive eating principles; when he was full, he stopped eating. As I prepped for my wedding, I was working hard to lose weight. I tried a yoga retreat and working out 2 hours a day and all sorts of other things. Ultimately, I settled on doing Whole 30, which ended up being my last major diet! It also taught me that my body doesn\u2019t really love dairy, which I discovered when I reintroduced it. Enjoying My Food & Eating for My Body Post-wedding, we headed back to Switzerland and I started yoga teacher training. I realized pretty quickly that I had to eat appropriately to have enough energy to get through the long days. I also realized that yoga training and dairy weren\u2019t going to be a great fit for me, for reasons you can guess! It was the first time in my life I started eating for my body, which was crazy! Around that time, I also came across an intuitive eating class. It was perfect timing, and I dove in headfirst. I started eating food that felt good for my body. Vegetables and lighter foods became something that I chose because I wanted them. Sweets were something I could indulge in with joy and pleasure \u2013 no more guilt. Eating more food when I already felt full didn\u2019t work for me anymore. Dieting no longer seemed like the key to feeling good in my body. My emotions were something I could talk about and journal through, rather than eat. Body acceptance became real and possible; not something other people were able to do that I could never attain. Practicing yoga became about doing yoga and feeling strong, rather than losing weight or changing my body. (Yay for intuitive movement!) My {Real} Dieting Story Dieting does NOT work. Intuitive eating is powerful because you get to incorporate everything: your body, mind, emotions, and full self. You get to practice self-care, love yourself without guilt or shame, and grow in confidence and acceptance of who you are. Now that I\u2019ve experience this, I can say with confidence that my dieting story has come to an end. I\u2019m free from that, and I\u2019m here to say that you can gain that same freedom yourself! ","author_name":"Quit Dieting for Good","author_url":"https:\/\/caitlinball.com","html":"