{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"#116 - Unique Snowflakes & Boundaries","description":"People tend to see their situations as special or unique, when in reality, that\u2019s not the case most of the time. But we often get tripped up around exceptionalism when it comes to our boundaries. There are two common \u201cunique snowflake\u201d traps that we all fall into, and I\u2019ll dig into both of them today. Remember that even though your situation may feel exceptional, the principles of the boundary work involved are the same.   Biggest Takeaways From Episode #116: The \u201cunique snowflake trap\u201d is the belief that there\u2019s something unique about your situation that makes your boundary challenge or question unique or different from the standard principles. A common example of this is believing that boundaries are different with different people. In fact, boundaries with family members work exactly the same way as they do with other people. You still get to decide how you want to respond. Another common example sounds something like, \u201cYou just don\u2019t understand. This person is different.\u201d While this may feel true, the 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier still works for this situation.   Highlights from Episode #116: Vicki welcomes listeners to Episode 116, which will be about snowflakes and boundaries. We start off by learning about the history of the term \u201csnowflake.\u201d [00:39] We hear about the \u201cunique snowflake trap,\u201d which is one of the common things that trips people up around creating boundaries. [03:43] Vicki discusses whether boundaries are different depending on the role that different people have in your life. [05:02] You can decide that it\u2019s okay with you if someone has a right to your body, but no one else gets to decide that for you. This illustrates Vicki\u2019s point around family boundaries. [08:32] The second \u201cunique snowflake\u201d dynamic that Vicki talks about is some variation on \u201cyou just don\u2019t understand; this person is different\/an exception.\u201d [09:49] Vicki digs into how the \u201cunique snowflake\u201d trap relates to the belief that getting someone else to change is the way to be happier or get our needs met. [13:56]   Links and Resources: Vicki Tidwell Palmer Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram The Radiant Threefold Path Beyond Bitchy on Spotify Sorry Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club Did Not Invent the Alt-Right's Favorite Insult, Matt Miller, January 30, 2017 Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #1 \u2013 Boundaries: What They Are and Why They\u2019re So Misunderstood (start here and work your way forward for the foundations of this podcast!) ","author_name":"Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries","author_url":"https:\/\/victoriapriya.com","html":"