{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"214: Ego Work, Grief, and the Coronavirus Pandemic","description":"Experiencing how you\u2019re showing up in this pandemic is giving every single human the opportunity to do what\u2019s called ego work. I\u2019m going to first define this concept and introduce it to you, provide examples, and move into how we can heal and use it to our advantage.  However you\u2019re showing up is completely okay, but what happens psychologically is this: The pandemic ensued, and every human on the planet began feeling the uncertainty that\u2019s really always there. Uncertainty is essentially the fear of the unknown, fear of dying, fear of the dark, etc. The EGO is a function of the mind that identifies as \u201cI.\u201d I am this, I feel this, I think this, I believe this. It tells stories, runs narratives, and assigns meaning to you, the world, and other people based on its experiences so far. It helps us make sense of things. It also gives us a sense of identity. Having a sense of identity makes us feel like a human, with a purpose. That\u2019s why it likes to keep us in the familiar, predictable, and safe patterns. It protects us from painful emotions that might be too overwhelming to feel. Anything that ISN\u2019T familiar is a THREAT to the ego.  MOMENTS IN THIS EPISODE: 1:39- Amanda discusses how we are experiencing showing up right now, and what ego work is 5:30- How does the ego work and what is its purpose? 8:57- Amanda leads us through a meditation 13:34- Questioning our belief systems and why it\u2019s uncomfortable for us 14:50- Uncertainty and why our ego hates it 17:00- Amanda talks about an argument between her and her partner related to ego 24:00- How uncertainty makes us respond and why how you're responding right now is okay 26:43- What is an ego death and how do we respond to it? 28:57- Amanda describes some different ego structures 33:59- How we are currently mourning the loss and grieving the fact that things have changed so much   The ego work is through self-observation and witnessing. So with the coronavirus pandemic\u2026 We are all going through a major bout of uncertainty, which the ego absolutely HATES. It\u2019s identity is being threatened. It\u2019s sense of self. Believes about itself, other people, and the world. A few examples: story about privilege, spirituality, and sense of self were being threatened needing to be right about how he reacted when it came to Cooper. And how you are responding to the virus right now is how you likely respond to all ego-related things, except AMPLIFIED\u2014because survival and safety is involved, quite literally\u2014financial or health wise.   Are you getting angry? Are you feeling anxious? Are you avoiding feeling? Are you coping, numbing out?   I want to tell you: however you\u2019re responding right now, is absolutely okay. If you don\u2019t enjoy how you\u2019re responding and feel as though you need help, reach out to me and I can point you in the right direction\u2014mental health, wellness, or otherwise\u2014I\u2019m here. And if you\u2019re responding by having a few extra drinks, eating a bit more food, sleeping more, etc. \u2014 I just want you to know that you make sense. The ego is feeling deeply uncertain, and deeply needing to cling on any sense of certainty and feel good it can. It resists being shattered into pieces. If you look at people who are discussing conspiracy theories\u2014I\u2019m not falling on one side or the other in this episode, but you see the anger people have on both ends. To me, i\u2019m observing a few different places in the grief stages. Denial. \u2014> even if none of it\u2019s true, it\u2019s triggering because it\u2019s threatening. An ego death is what occurs when you let go of a part of yourself that believed it was the way it was. I\u2019m personally experiencing many mini-ego deaths. Small examples: I believed I would never run. Now I run. I didn\u2019t think I\u2019d ever get myself to cook because  I was so stuck in the habit. Now I do. I didn\u2019t think I\u2019d ever get angry, because my coping mechanism has been shut down. Now, I\u2019m letting myself feel anger when it arises. God, my ego HATED that one. It was so painful. It still makes me want to vomit. But psychologically, anger is a step up from shut down. Shut down is an emotional turn off where you numb out.   Things we automatically trusted were okay, are now not: grocery store potentially the government our goals and plans we thought would make us happy the things we felt safe doing and moving toward   What\u2019s HAPPENING is that there is SO MUCH uncertainty, which leads to so much chaos, and therefore\u2026destruction Destruction is not bad. It\u2019s just the ego that doesn\u2019t like it. It fucking HURTS. If you\u2019ve ever had what you could only describe as a death of part of yourself\u2026you know. It feels messy and gross. But what comes out is a rebirthed version of the self, and the collective. And rebirth can be beautiful. Examples of how things are changing and what they never thought could change without necessity: universities going online and serving more people studios and classes hosting things online hand shaking? how does that change the conversation around intimacy with strangers? the environment? how does it change? home? how do you relate to your home?   For me, here\u2019s what I\u2019m changing: One thing this is truly forcing me to do is get clear on what beliefs are mine and what aren\u2019t. My partner is huge into social justice and politics. He reads a lot.  I\u2019ve let him be my filter for the last few years.  And, I personally can allow that to take over my thought process and belief systems. Turns out, that\u2019s a part of my EGO STRUCTURE. As an enneagram 9 (there\u2019s an AMAZING book\u2014roaming free inside the cage\u2026..) my ego structure makes peace, avoids conflict, and when unhealthy\u2014allows for others opinions to turn into their own.  Chameloning is easy for me. I\u2019ve let that happen most of my life. Emo friend in middle school, I became emo. etc. Living with a highly opinionated and well studied person is forcing me to check in with my own beliefs and see if I agree, or I\u2019m just agreeing because it\u2019s him. Reminders of this episode: It\u2019s okay if you\u2019re coping a bit with things that feel comfortable. that\u2019s naturally what might need to happen. Eating a little extra, whatever\u2014the ego is so resistant. How you do one thing is how you do everything. You may be in the beginning stages of grief of a loss of sense of self, others, and the world. If you are struggling to handle what's happening right now, please reach out to me on Instagram @amandabucci ","author_name":"The Amanda Bucci Show (Formerly Bucci Radio)","author_url":"http:\/\/amandabucci.com","html":"