{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"LTL 127: Overcoming Your Pain To Step Into Your Greatness","description":"I had the privilege of attending the Global Leadership Summit in August. I\u2019ll be sharing some of my key learnings from that event in future episodes; however, attending the Summit reminded me of something I had seen back in May. It was so powerful that I want to share it with you today. Erwin McManus gave a presentation at the Global Leadership Summit in 2018. Boiled down, it led to the title of this episode. You must overcome your pain in order to step into your greatness. If you don\u2019t know who Erwin is, he\u2019s a prolific author, cancer survivor, international speaker, and a pastor at MOSAIC church in Los Angeles. His latest books are The Way of the Warrior and The Last Arrow. Trust me when I say that he\u2019s unlike any other man you know. For example, he embraces his uniqueness and he always speaks\/writes in a way that uses story powerfully. The Pain Of Average His greatest fear growing up was that he would be average. Being raised in the shadow of a brother who seemed to excel at everything he touched, Erwin saw himself not as just average, but below average. And it wasn\u2019t just Erwin who saw himself that way, his step-dad did his best to reinforce this with Erwin at every opportunity. We have pithy sayings about how \u201csticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.\u201d Because of that saying, many grew up believing they shouldn\u2019t allow a label to cause them pain. That what others say or think is somehow not a part of who we become. Unfortunately, we all know that isn\u2019t true. Succumbing To The Opinion Of Others How others see us can have a direct impact on how we see ourselves. As a result, it\u2019s a battle to overcome the pain of a label or a stereotype and the mental exertion is intense \u2013 no one can do it for you. There will be times when you want to succumb to the opinions of others. And that\u2019s a problem because when you do, you hand control of your life to another. Have you taken the Enneagram personality test? I\u2019ve talked about it before and you can go back to Episode 022: Are You My Type? More Tools For Building Team Trust and listen to it to learn more about it. Anyway, on the Enneagram, I\u2019m a Three, Achiever. And so what does that mean? Essentially, I\u2019m success-oriented, adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious. Therefore, my most basic fear is being worthless. And, as a result, my second greatest fear would be someone thinking I\u2019m worthless. Erwin\u2019s point about fearing average was resonating with me. So these fears can lead me to unhealthy behaviors. Unhealthy Behavior For me, unhealthy means associating value with accomplishment. As if I would only be loved if I am extraordinary in some endeavor. There\u2019s a constant pressure to be outstanding in whatever I do and that is not only intense \u2013 it\u2019s draining. There\u2019s an underlying anxiety about personal value and expectation of myself that I always operate at maximum efficiency. At my worst, it\u2019s easy to lose focus and fall into busywork. Here\u2019s the strangest part of my behavior at home with Ginger. Because my relationship with her is secure (we are both committed to Jesus, each other, and our marriage), I will keep a positive mental attitude at work all day, only to come home and be a dissatisfied, sullen, snarky and childish with her. It\u2019s like I\u2019m free to let my guard down with her and it\u2019s not okay. So if I allow it, unhealthy tendencies for me would make me a workaholic who fears the pain of failure or humiliation. I will want to impress others (man-pleasing) and spend too much time wondering what others think of me. Resisting Fear\u2019s Mastery Slyly, with beguiling intent, fear begins to shape our behavior. And before we know it, our leadership is confined to our fears! Any pain we experience as a result of realized fears, simply evidences that our position is rational. See? I knew that this was not just in my imagination. We start to tell or remind ourselves of these stories. What pain awaits us if we step out of these confines. In the meantime, fear establishes mastery. We have become a slave to a cruel master. So, do you want to know the irony? As a result, we willingly give up our freedom. Please thoughtfully consider this point. Anything To Avoid Pain We are afraid because we don\u2019t want pain. In our mind, pain = bad. Pain = limitation. In your mind, can you visualize the boundary lines being drawn? Because of the self-imposed boundary, I will choose to give up my freedom to pursue my dream. Because of my fear of pain, I will choose to allow my talents to lie dormant. Maybe I will disappoint someone, or myself. Because someone might think my effort is insufficient, then I will choose to not live in the light of experience. And who can blame us? Erwin points out that you and I live in the mythology of greatness. In addition, I would be shocked if you aren\u2019t daily, possibly hourly, comparing your normal moments to everyone else\u2019s best moments. Yes, the ones that show up on social media. This is what you won\u2019t want to hear: pain is part of life. Pain is life. For some reason, we think that my life should not include pain. If I just do things right, then I can avoid pain. What a shallow misnomer. It\u2019s actually just the opposite! That is, if you do things right, you will absolutely encounter pain head-on. Walk In Your Pain Erwin contends that you must learn to walk in your pain. There are no shortcuts. He goes on to say that you have to be willing to go through pain, crash through it, to encounter your greatness. Pain does not have to define your life. In Episode 051: Failure Isn\u2019t Final, I talk about how failure is not an end\u2026unless you let it. Erwin says that your future is on the other side of your failure. And that\u2019s hard for us to imagine when we see the significance or the size of our failure. I don\u2019t blame you for questioning how this could lead to something good. As you already know, I\u2019m a Christ-follower. My faith allows me to see things differently than I might otherwise. But make no mistake, having faith does not mean that I always see things from a spiritual perspective. I don\u2019t. It\u2019s often one of my greatest frustrations. I want to look at my circumstances, see them from God\u2019s point of view, and be encouraged. I\u2019ll bet that it happens like that 30% of the time. I\u2019m horrified by some of the things I\u2019ve felt given my profession of faith. But here are two final thoughts that I want to leave you with today from Pastor McManus: You Aren\u2019t Defined By Your Worst Moments Firstly, God doesn\u2019t define you by your worst moments. We have all done things that given a mulligan or a do-over, we would choose differently. That does not define you. The fact that you would do it differently might actually result in a more accurate definition of who you really are. Secondly, Erwin said that you and I want God to meet us in our faith. But the reality is this: He meets us in our faithfulness. Your faith does not make your life easier. It doesn\u2019t take away the pain. It makes you stronger. The Irony Of Faith As a result, your faith gives you the strength and the courage to step into the fear, to walk in your pain, and know that on the other side, you will step into your greatness. Resources Mentioned In This Episode: The Leader to Leader Podcast Episode 022: Are You My Type? More Tools For Building Team Trust The Leader to Leader Podcast Episode 051: Failure Isn\u2019t Final Erwin McManus GLS18 Session Notes-The Last Arrow       Any links to Amazon are affiliate links. The price doesn\u2019t change, but I receive a commission for purchases made through those links.   Thanks for Listening! I want to hear from you! I appreciate your honest feedback so reach out and: Leave a note in the comment section below. Email a question to mark@markslemons.com. Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn. Listen to the show using your favorite platform: Spotify | iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | Android | RSS Now, go lead like someone you would want to follow! ","author_name":"The Leader To Leader Podcast","author_url":"https:\/\/www.markslemons.com","html":"