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4162 Don't Match the Madness
We are wired to want to be right. It's part of being human — this deep pull toward controlling our circumstances, defending our perspective, and standing firm on the hill we've chosen. And in most areas of life, that drive can serve us well. But marriage isn't like most areas of life. Marriage is two people, two histories, two sets of emotions, and two very real desires to be right, all living under the same roof and loving the same God. So what happens when those desires collide? Things get loud. Things get heated. And in that moment, you have a choice. You can rise to the chaos, or you can refuse to meet it where it lives. Please don't match the madness. Because the madness doesn't want resolution. It wants company. It wants you to raise your voice because your spouse raised theirs. It wants you to fire back with that thing you've been holding onto. It wants to pull you into a storm that neither of you started on purpose, but both of you are now fueling with everything you've got. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com #RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage And what that madness produces is nothing that matters. It doesn't grow trust. It doesn't build intimacy.  It doesn't bring clarity. What it does is bury the very things that need to come to the surface. The hurt beneath the anger The fear beneath the frustration  The longing beneath the silence When we match the madness, we cover up what's real with what's reactive. We trade depth for volume. And the stuff that actually needs to be revealed and refined — the places where God is trying to do His deepest work in us and between us — stays buried under the rubble of words we didn't mean and tones we can't take back. Proverbs 15:1 tells us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Notice it doesn't say a correct answer turns away wrath. It says a gentle one. You can be absolutely right in what you're saying and absolutely wrong in how you're saying it. Gentleness isn't weakness. It's warfare, the kind that fights for your marriage instead of against your spouse. So what does it look like, practically, to not match the madness? It looks like a pause before a response. It looks like lowering your voice when everything inside you wants to raise it. It looks like choosing the person over the point. James 1:19 reminds us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." That's one of the most intentional, powerful things you can do in the heat of a hard moment. When you choose not to match the madness, you aren't losing. You're leading. You're saying, This marriage matters more than this moment. You're creating space for the Holy Spirit to move in a room where pride was trying to take up all the oxygen. So the next time it gets a little crazy — and it will, because you're two imperfect people doing this beautifully imperfect thing together — ask yourself: Am I about to match the madness, or am I about to break the cycle? Choose the cycle-breaker every time. The K.I.S.S. ~ Break the cycle! You've got to choose to break the cycle every time. Being truly humble and kind will take you further in your marriage than matching the madness. 1. Pause before you respond. Take a breath. Count to five. Walk to another room for two minutes if you need to. Refuse to let your first reaction become your final word.  "A pause isn't avoidance;  it's wisdom wearing work boots. This gives your heart time to catch up with your mouth." ~ Kristianne Wargo 2. Speak to the person, not the problem. In the heat of a disagreement, shift your language from accusation to acknowledgment. Instead of "You always..." try "I feel..." Instead of proving your case, pursue your spouse. Remind them and yourself that you're on the same team, even when it doesn't feel like it. 3. Pray before you push. Before you push your point, pray. Even a silent, two-millisecond prayer — Lord, help me see my spouse the way You see them right now. That changes the temperature of the entire conversation. "Humility doesn't come from trying harder; it comes from surrendering faster." ~ Kristianne Wargo You don't have to win every argument to have a winning marriage. In fact, some of the strongest marriages are built by two people who consistently choose peace over proving a point. They choose each other! Don't match the madness. Match the love that brought you together in the first place, and let God handle the rest. Let Him grow you and stretch you, because you're better together. "Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"   🔔 Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com TAKE A.I.M. ~ Action Ignites Motivation  - This is a complimentary (FREE) coaching call with me. You will discuss your specific situation while gaining tools and strategies to move you forward. (https://form.jotform.com/62988215824163) 🙏  Create Your Now TV on Pray.com (https://pray.com) 🎥  Create Your Now on YouTube (https://youtube.com/createyournow) 🎧 Create Your Now on Spotify, Pandora, and Audible. 🎶  Create Your Now on iHeart Radio (http://www.iheart.com/show/263-Create-Your-Now-Your-Best/) ✍️  YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com  Instagram @CreateYourNow @KristianneWargo Twitter @KristianneWargo @CreateYourNow Facebook www.facebook.com/TheKISSCoach www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow   Cover Art by Jenny Hamson Photo by Canva.com   Music by Mandisa - Overcomer http://www.mandisaofficial.com Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -  Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
http://createyournow.com
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