1 rich Libsyn https://www.libsyn.com 90 600 Have you ever tried dangling a carrot to get a desired behavior out of someone—whether it's offering points to your kids for clearing the dishwasher or dangling a bonus in front of your sales team—only to feel like you've created a transactional nightmare? You’re definitely not alone! In this episode of&amp;nbsp;Allyship in Action, I sat down with education scientist and author Dr. Özgür Bolat to unpack why our obsession with extrinsic rewards so often backfires. Drawing from his insightful book,&amp;nbsp;The Reward Trap, Özgür helps us realize that while carrots might get temporary compliance, they secretly erode intrinsic motivation, trust, and genuine ownership. We had a candid, funny, and deeply relatable conversation about breaking free from the points system mindset at home and work, shifting our focus from control to true connection. Key Themes &amp;amp; Highlights Compliance vs. True Ownership: Extrinsic motivators like bonuses or points might get a task done, but they fail to foster genuine engagement or long-term commitment. &quot;Rewards work if you want compliance. But if you want real ownership, real intrinsic motivation, real engagement and commitment, it may not work.&quot; The Hidden Costs on Trust and Fairness: Over-relying on rewards often triggers feelings of unfairness among peers and erodes trust between managers and employees or parents and children. &quot;When there’s a competition, when there’s a winner, always there are some people who complain. As your manager, I start to think: Julie had the capacity... but she only did the bare minimum. Why? Then I will lose trust in you.&quot; How Rewards Narrow Creativity and Learning: Extrinsic incentives focus attention strictly on the immediate payout, leading people to take the easiest path rather than exploring creative solutions or deep learning. &quot;When you offer a reward, you narrow that focus. If you offer a reward for creative work, you know what will happen? You will treat it as a mechanical work. Rewards can increase quantity, but not the quality.&quot; Shift from Control to Connection: True motivation comes from understanding underlying barriers, fostering agency, and creating shared values rather than imposing transactional rules. &quot;In punishment and rewarding, you only care about one thing: outcome and consequences. You care about controlling. Beyond rewards, we move from control to connection.&quot; Actionable Takeaway. Instead of reaching for a reward or a penalty the next time someone struggles with engagement, pause and move from control to connection: ask open-ended questions to uncover the root cause of the hesitation, validate their experience, and collaboratively design a solution that builds internal ownership. Follow Ozgur at https://www.ozgurbolat.com.tr/ Allyship in Action https://nextpivotpoint.com/podcast/ <iframe title="Libsyn Player" style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/42346415/height/90/theme/custom/thumbnail/yes/direction/forward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/25c3ef/" height="90" width="600" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe> https://assets.libsyn.com/secure/content/204854755