1 rich Libsyn https://www.libsyn.com 90 600 In this episode of Absolute Trust Talk, managing attorney Kirsten Howe tackles a quietly common source of family conflict: parents giving money to their adult children without documenting whether it's a gift or a loan. Drawing on years of trust administration experience, Kirsten shares a real family story where canceled checks sparked a bitter dispute among siblings after their parents passed, and she walks through the simple documentation steps that could have prevented it. She also addresses a second pitfall most families overlook: when a loan is properly documented up front but the repayment activity isn't tracked, leaving trustees with no way to know how much, if anything, is still owed. Time-stamped Show Notes: 0:00 Introduction 0:35 Kirsten kicks off today's topic: what happens when parents give money to their adult children without documenting it — and why those transfers can become a problem after the parents pass. 1:05 A trend Kirsten has noticed: Bay Area parents helping adult children with home down payments—a generous move that can create complications during trust administration if it's not well documented. 1:55 Issue #1: Was it a gift or a loan? The first question Kirsten's firm runs into when reviewing a trust is the financial history. 2:15 A real family story: parents quietly helped one daughter with several checks during a rough patch. After the parents passed, the other siblings dug up the canceled checks and called them loans — and the family fight was on. 4:15 The takeaway: document it. Whether it's as simple as writing &quot;gift&quot; on the memo line, adding blanket gift language to your trust, or having a signed promissory note for a loan, make your intent clear in writing. 5:30 Issue #2: The loan was documented properly — a real promissory note, signed and everything — but that was years ago, and now nobody knows what's been paid back. 7:05 The fix: keep good records on both sides. A simple spreadsheet for the lender, canceled checks or equivalent for the borrower — without it, the trustee may have to assume nothing was repaid. 8:00 Why family loans need to be treated like business: the love and trust between parent and child don't survive the parent's death, and the next person at the table may see things very differently. 8:45 The bottom line: if money is moving between you and your child, document it like a business deal — so your family doesn't end up litigating it years later. Take the Next Step in Your Estate Planning Journey If this episode resonated with you, we'd love to help you with your own estate planning needs in California. Schedule a complimentary discovery call with our team at Absolute Trust Counsel. During this no-obligation conversation, we'll: Learn about your unique situation and goals Answer questions about our services Determine if we're the right fit to work together Visit https://absolutetrustcounsel.com/scheduling/ or call 925-943-2740 to schedule your free discovery call today. Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a couple second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits: The Absolute Trust Talk podcast is brought to you with the help of Q2Mark, led by Chief Marketing Officer Susie Hays. Since 2016, Q2Mark has partnered with Absolute Trust Counsel on all marketing communications—from brand development and website design to this podcast series with over 192 episodes, social media management, video production, and more. If you're business owner looking for comprehensive marketing support, visit Q2Mark.com. Absolute Trust Talk https://absolutetrustcounsel.com/podcast <iframe title="Libsyn Player" style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/41333650/height/90/theme/custom/thumbnail/yes/direction/forward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/88AA3C/" height="90" width="600" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe> https://assets.libsyn.com/secure/item/41333650