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Kagro in the Morning - April 6, 2026
Dyngus Day! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin float in with another Raft O’ Stories™, swept on the Eastertide. The Trump World War is now entering its third 2 weeks of total triumph. Bombing Iran to the stone age isn’t mogging Iran quite enough, however, and Trump has mushroom cloud dreams.  In fact, yesterday Donald renamed the Hormuz Strait the “Fuckin’” Strait and made an Easter day conversion to Islam in preparation for his final day of judgment. Marjorie Taylor Greene knows from crazy, and she’s seeing some crazy. Strait traffic is picking up as more countries have been convinced to line up at the toll booths. This might slow but won’t stop the biggest oil crisis in history from hitting us all. Pete Hicseth is in the process of culling all officers determined not crusade-ready.  Not everyone is suited to be a holy warrior, sometimes even white guys have to be eliminated. The Justice Department says that Trump doesn’t need to hand over his presidential records after he’s finished destroying the world. Democrats are winning over the left and “double haters” to claim their future share of the debris. U.S. Marshals waived training rules for Elon Musk's armed DOGE security. Mark Zuckerberg offered to censor Meta users to help DOGE out. Kristi Noem’s husband, Bryon Noem, has been reported to have lived a "secret double life” which involves the wearing his not so secret “double D’s”. Kristi, Bryon, and Corey have been reported to live a secret triple life that rhymes with “fuckin’”.
Kagro in the Morning
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