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  <title>Accepting Relational Influence</title>
  <description>Healthy&amp;amp;nbsp;relationships&amp;amp;nbsp;require that&amp;amp;nbsp;we&amp;amp;nbsp;are&amp;amp;nbsp;open to being influenced.&amp;amp;nbsp;After all, what is&amp;amp;nbsp;a relationship&amp;amp;nbsp;if it&amp;amp;nbsp;doesn’t&amp;amp;nbsp;include&amp;amp;nbsp;give and&amp;amp;nbsp;take.&amp;amp;nbsp;In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer&amp;amp;nbsp;explains what both research and experience has taught him about the importance of accepting influence&amp;amp;nbsp;in relationships.&amp;amp;nbsp; Show notes:&amp;amp;nbsp; What&amp;amp;nbsp;does&amp;amp;nbsp;accepting&amp;amp;nbsp;relational influence&amp;amp;nbsp;mean?&amp;amp;nbsp;&amp;amp;nbsp;  Allowing&amp;amp;nbsp;those we are in relationship with to&amp;amp;nbsp;shape&amp;amp;nbsp;and&amp;amp;nbsp;impact&amp;amp;nbsp;our thinking,&amp;amp;nbsp;feeling&amp;amp;nbsp;and behaving.&amp;amp;nbsp;&amp;amp;nbsp;  What does not&amp;amp;nbsp;accepting&amp;amp;nbsp;relational influence look like?&amp;amp;nbsp;  Relationship rigidity resulting in dismissing&amp;amp;nbsp;or being&amp;amp;nbsp;un-moved by&amp;amp;nbsp;the input, wisdom,&amp;amp;nbsp;experience&amp;amp;nbsp;and interaction&amp;amp;nbsp;of another individual.&amp;amp;nbsp;&amp;amp;nbsp;  What does the research say?&amp;amp;nbsp;  Husbands who accept influence from their wives tend to have happier and more satisfying relationships.&amp;amp;nbsp; The more influence a spouse is willing to accept, the more influential they can be.&amp;amp;nbsp;  What makes accepting relational influence difficult?&amp;amp;nbsp;  Being defensive&amp;amp;nbsp;or the tendency to recoil from perceived&amp;amp;nbsp;challenges.&amp;amp;nbsp; Black and white thinking&amp;amp;nbsp;or the tendency to see matters in either/or categories.&amp;amp;nbsp; Avoidant&amp;amp;nbsp;or the tendency to avoid&amp;amp;nbsp;relationship&amp;amp;nbsp;disagreement and friction.&amp;amp;nbsp; Misunderstood roles in&amp;amp;nbsp;relationship&amp;amp;nbsp;or the tendency to enter a relationship with a role modeled or taught to&amp;amp;nbsp;you that&amp;amp;nbsp;does not&amp;amp;nbsp;permit&amp;amp;nbsp;influence.&amp;amp;nbsp; Lack of relationship safety.&amp;amp;nbsp;&amp;amp;nbsp;  What&amp;amp;nbsp;happens if we&amp;amp;nbsp;don’t&amp;amp;nbsp;accept influence?&amp;amp;nbsp;  The relationship tends towards disconnection.&amp;amp;nbsp;  Does accepting influence mean&amp;amp;nbsp;finding&amp;amp;nbsp;agreement?&amp;amp;nbsp;  Yes and no. Yes – you both agree that the other is worth understanding well enough to know when and how to yield to them. No – agreement is not the&amp;amp;nbsp;objective. In&amp;amp;nbsp;fact,&amp;amp;nbsp;disagreement is common and still should include influence.&amp;amp;nbsp;  What does healthy influence look like amid disagreement?&amp;amp;nbsp;  When a person says “no” in a relationship, they&amp;amp;nbsp;should&amp;amp;nbsp;simultaneously&amp;amp;nbsp;say “yes” to the friend or spouse they are in&amp;amp;nbsp;relationship&amp;amp;nbsp;with.&amp;amp;nbsp;By this we mean, those we are in&amp;amp;nbsp;relationship&amp;amp;nbsp;should always feel they have been understood and valued enough to have influenced us regardless of the decision at hand.&amp;amp;nbsp;  </description>
  <author_name>Breaking Bread Podcast</author_name>
  <author_url>http://apostolicchristiancounseling.libsyn.com/podcast</author_url>
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