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Overcoming Self-Sabotage (with Dr. Albert Bramante)
My guest today spends his days representing actors, and he kept noticing the same maddening pattern: talented people telling him how badly they wanted the job, then blowing off the audition that would have gotten it to them. Self-sabotage isn't a character flaw, and Dr. Albert Bramante built an entire PhD dissertation, and eventually his coaching work, around figuring out what actually is. Spoiler: it's fear wearing a very convincing disguise. Dr. Bramante is a talent agent with more than two decades in the entertainment industry, holds a PhD in psychology from Walden University, and is a certified hypnotist and NLP practitioner. His research found that a specific personality combination, high neuroticism paired with low conscientiousness, is a recipe for self-sabotage, and he's spent his career since helping performers (and the rest of us) recognize the fear underneath the procrastination, the perfectionism, and the "this project isn't worth my time" excuses we make right before we quit. We get into the science behind the two-minute power pose, what hypnotherapy actually is when it's not a stage act, and Dr. Bramante's own hard lesson about people-pleasing: the year he took on double the standard teaching load hoping it would buy him respect, and got cut first anyway when the budget shrank. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNkO1mKNt9k In this episode The self-sabotage pattern Dr. Bramante kept seeing in his talent agency clients, and the personality research that explains it Why fear of success is a real, protective (if misguided) mechanism, and how to recognize when it's quietly driving your choices The two-minute "power pose" habit, backed by research, that can change your nervous system before a big moment What hypnotherapy actually is (not the stage-quacking-like-a-chicken kind), and how it can speed up inner-child and confidence work The "happy file" habit for boosting self-esteem and pulling yourself out of a spiral of self-doubt The wake-up call that taught Dr. Bramante overcommitting at work doesn't buy you respect, it gets you cut first Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet talent agent and psychologist Dr. Albert Bramante (01:11) From drama club to a psychology PhD: how one career became three (03:34) Fear of success and self-defeating behavior: the dissertation born from his own clients (05:34) The Big Five personality research behind self-sabotage (07:01) Fear as a protective mechanism, and why actors hear so many no's (10:28) Rewiring identity: from "starving artist" to "professional working actor" (12:24) The two-minute power pose, and the research behind it (13:44) What hypnosis actually is (hint: not the chicken-quacking stage act) (18:16) Inner-child work, free will, and why hypnosis can't make you do anything (23:58) The "happy file": a self-esteem tool from his book (26:02) Toxic high self-esteem vs. healthy self-esteem (29:02) The boundaries lesson that cost him his job, and what it taught him about respect About Dr. Albert Bramante Dr. Albert Bramante is a talent agent with more than two decades of experience in the entertainment industry. He holds a PhD in psychology from Walden University and is a certified hypnotist and NLP practitioner. His dissertation research on fear of success and self-defeating behavior in performing artists grew directly out of patterns he noticed in his own agency clients. Learn more at Dr. Bramante's website, or connect with him on LinkedIn. Favorite quotes "If you combine high neuroticism and low conscientiousness, it's going to be a recipe for self-sabotage." —Dr. Albert Bramante "There's nothing wrong with setting boundaries. And if somebody does not want to accept those boundaries, then you have to evaluate: is this person really worth my time?" —Dr. Albert Bramante "I didn't get the intended outcome that I wanted, which is respect." —Dr. Albert Bramante, on overloading himself with committee work Resources mentioned Dr. Bramante's book on fear of success and self-defeating behavior in performing artists, based on his doctoral dissertation The "happy file" method, from his book, for documenting wins and positive feedback to counter self-doubt Amy Cuddy's power-pose research, referenced in the discussion of two-minute confidence-building poses BramanteArtists.com: Dr. Bramante's talent agency and coaching website Dr. Bramante on LinkedIn Related episodes Are You Avoiding Failure or Guaranteeing It?: pairs directly with Dr. Bramante's research on the fear behind self-sabotaging behavior The Fear Trap: another deep dive into how fear disguises itself as procrastination, perfectionism, and other "problems" How Unresolved Trauma Is Ruling Your Life: expands on the childhood-rooted fears Dr. Bramante addresses through inner-child hypnotherapy work Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with, follow Phoenix and Flame so you never miss an episode: all apps in one place, or jump straight to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube. And if it moved you, leave a review; it's the easiest way to help another listener find the show. Learn more about Phoenix and Flame, connect with Dana, and listen to more episodes here. Curious where your own boundaries stand? Take my free Work Boundaries Quiz: danaskaggs.com/quiz
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