{"version":1,"type":"rich","provider_name":"Libsyn","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.libsyn.com","height":90,"width":600,"title":"109. love who you love: horizontal with indonesia\u2019s openly LGBTQ+ singer-songwriter [1 of 2]","description":"Hello horizontal lovers. horizontal is consensual eavesdropping on conversations about intimacy of all kinds, recorded while lying down, wearing robes. In this and the following episode, I lie down with Kai Mata, Indonesia\u2019s rainbow-toting, openly LGBTQ+ singer-songwriter. She is a thoughtful rock star, an articulate activist, a love advocate, an outspoken woman with a bamboo guitar living a love life of liberation in a country that expects its women to be neither outspoken nor liberated. I love her. And her meter-long hair. Kai wears maroon and black almost exclusively, right down to her motorbike helmet. She displays or wears a rainbow flag at every single show, at every single gig, and she will continue to do so until all of her people are free to love who they love. She battles internet trolls, social media harassment, hate messages, homophobia, discrimination, and erasure by her culture of origin on a daily basis. She is publicly out in a country that persecutes its LGBTQ+ citizens. She is out for all of her fellow Indonesians who cannot be yet, in the hopes of a new era in which they all can feel safe to be. By the way, she\u2019s 22 years-old. I first encountered Kai through a Facebook post she made, raising awareness of the persecution of anybody with a queer identity in Indonesia, and the government\u2019s attempt to slip their discrimination into law. These are Kai\u2019s words, posted on February 21st, 2020: I need your help. Indonesia is trying to label all LGBTQ+ people as deviants dangerous to society, legally requiring us to go to conversion therapy. I am one of the only publicly LGBTQ+ Indonesian Women\ud83c\udff3\u200d\ud83c\udf08\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\udde9. Why are there so few of us? Because my beautiful country has created a society and laws that ostracize and discriminate against my beautiful rainbow community\ud83e\udd7a. This flaming heart breaks with the new \u201cFamily Resilience Bill\u201d draft in Indonesia. I am truly in tears. This new bill would define any LGBTQ+ Member as a sexual deviant. It would require mandatory reporting to the government of anyone suspected to be LGBTQ+. Those who are reported would then be forced into conversion therapy to be \u201ctreated.\u201d This draft is supported by four major political parties in Indonesia, who claim gays interfere with the future of humanity. It pains me knowing they choose not to realize the humanity within those of us who might love someone of the same gender. And so I sit in Indonesia, my homeland, with the thought of fleeing ringing in my mind, fearful for my livelihood and scared as to how Indonesia can be developing so quickly with its economy and middle class, yet degenerating with basic human rights. What booms even louder than my fear: the recognition of the choice I have to stay, the advantage of an international support, and the privilege of a voice. These laws, regardless if passed, are meant to silence us. And it\u2019s worked at keeping 99% of the LGBTQ+ Indonesians in the closet, frightened by not just legal implications, but the social suicide of coming out and being viewed as the shame of the family. Had I been born in a different situation, I\u2019d be in the closet too. And thus, I am rooted in my country with a clear message. I am Indonesian\ud83c\uddee\ud83c\udde9. I am LGBTQ+\ud83c\udff3\u200d\ud83c\udf08. And I am proud of both. They can threaten me and tell me I deserve to die. They can put me in conversion therapy or put me in jail. Nothing will change the fact I am Indonesian and I am flaming gay. If you\u2019re reading all the way down here, thank you for listening. I encourage you to please share this message to your friends, family, and anyone you know, especially those traveling to Indonesia. This isn\u2019t a solo project. We need a choir of voices singing this message. Update: please help by sharing (spreads the message for we need the world to recognize what's going on), commenting (it shows support to all the Indonesians like myself who are feeling scared and isolated) and signing this petition: http:\/\/chng.it\/nGVCh79W2J That\u2019s the conclusion of Kai\u2019s post from February 2020. This quote \u201cFamily Resilience\u201d Bill would require families to turn in their non-heterosexual members for conversion therapy. Let me say that one more time. It would require you to turn in your trans sister,  your gay brother, your lesbian aunt, your bisexual daughter, your pansexual cousin \u2014 to be tortured by the government, in the name of families. In this, the first part of our conversation, we talk about the persecution of Chinese Indonesians, Kai\u2019s California childhood, falling in love for the first time (and with a girl), coming out before she was ready, songwriting as emotional awareness, high school in Jakarta, a fateful spring break in Bali, public displays of affection in Indonesia, tourists & nudity in Bali, cultural sensitivity & admitting our privilege, modesty, menstruation, temples, & tampons, the illegality of sex toys, and the fact that our current sexual partners don\u2019t define our sexual orientation. Each horizontal recording is between 3 and 5 hours long, and divided in two to four parts. My recording with Kai was around 3 hours long, so this episode, 109, the first part of our recording, is available in all the podcast places, and next week\u2019s episode, 110, the second part, will be available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts. Patronage makes it possible for me to share these intimate conversations with the world. Patreon is like the Love Child of crowd-funding and a subscription service. Navigate directly to www.patreon.com\/horizontalwithlila (you cannot search for horizontal on the Patreon site, because all adult creators are hidden on the website \u2014 letting us know just how far we still have to go), so click the link or type patreon.com\/horizontalwithlila in your browser, and become a patron of the horizontal arts. Your patronage keeps horizontal independent and uncensored, as well as unlocking access to all the part twos, the secret patrons Facebook group, & intimacy tips videos like the Inner Mentor visualization. Here are some of my commitments during this American Revolution, during Pride month, and beyond: I commit to further amplifying the voices of people with marginalized identities \u2014 Black people, People of Color, people in the LGBTQ+ community, and more folx, whose voices are squelched, censored, under-represented, or unheard, in the United States and across the planet.  I commit to loving them fiercely and uplifting them in all the ways that I can.  I commit to showing this love personally, by caring for the beloveds I cherish.  I commit to showing this love at large, through anti-racist action that calls for justice in myriad ways, including, but not limited to\u2014  donating to anti-racist organizations donating directly to folx in need\u2014 such as through The Black Fairy Godmother Official\u2019s Instagram \u2014  using horizontal to express anti-racist and pro-Pride statements listening to and broadcasting the stories of Black people, Indigenous people, People of Color, and LGBTQ+ folx in all mediums listening to, reading, watching, and financially supporting work created by and starring marginalized folx participating in education on anti-racism, led by BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ folx continuing to unveil and excavate my own racism throughout my life. This episode was mixed and mastered by Irving Gadhoury from IGrecording.com.  My cover art is by Shana Shay \u2014 find her on 99 designs.  This remix of my original intro music was created by the beatbox musician kidmental. I first came across kidmental when he remixed Ear Hustle\u2019s theme song. He is a self-contained orchestra. He is a Black creator you can support right now. Get a theme song of your very own by commissioning him on Fiverr, or become his patron on patreon.com\/kidmental If you have an LGBTQ+ friend living in an intolerant place, or among people who provide little support for their true identity, would you share this episode with them? They are not alone. People like Kai are fighting for their right to love who they love. In next week\u2019s episode, the second part of my conversation with Kai Mata, we discuss Kai\u2019s ideal relationship, the Bali cacao ceremony, age discrepancies & the sexiness of power, the dream marriage tour, Indonesia\u2019s proposed \u201cfamily resilience bill,\u201d how existing laws are currently used to target Indonesian queers, Kai\u2019s intolerance escape plan, turning her adversity into an advantage, & a story about the self-proclaimed greatest dancer in the world. To listen to next week\u2019s episode, become a patron of the horizontal arts by navigating directly to patreon.com\/horizontalwithlila And to find out about all things horizontal, including upcoming workshops, my How to Connect course, and Intimacy Advice sessions, sign up for my email missives on horizontalwithlila.com. Until next time: may you have someones to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. I\u2019m looking forward to leading a workshop on 20 Emotional Release Techniques at the Virtual Intimacy Retreat July 10th - 12th! Now, my horizontal lover, come lie down with us in Ubud, Bali, Indonesia. ","author_name":"horizontal with lila","author_url":"https:\/\/horizontalwithlila.com","html":"